


Blot Out The Sun

by blakefancier



Category: Captain America (2011), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Dark, M/M, Parent/Child Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-03-19
Updated: 2013-04-21
Packaged: 2017-11-02 05:38:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/365526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakefancier/pseuds/blakefancier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Howard wasn't the destroyer of worlds, but he wasn't the savior either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So there was I was, minding my own business, trying to work on the new sub!Howard idea that I had, when this new idea came up and smacked me upside the head with a brick. Who could resist a post-apocalypse fic? Not me. Then my partner-in-crime dared me to write a Howard/Tony fic and my brain was like, two great tastes that taste great together? Yes! So here it is. There's more to this story. A lot more. And I'll probably be working on it in the next week or so. We'll see what becomes of it.

Howard missed the taste of fine whiskey; that was what he thought as he sat sprawled against the wall of a fire-gutted tenement, a Stark assault rifle across his lap, Tony curled into a ball in a dry corner of the room. There were more important concerns, of course. The rush of the pouring rain made it impossible to hear anything but the loudest of sounds. A Skitter could be right outside and Howard still wouldn't be able to hear the skrrck-skrrck they made as they scuttled along.

And yet what he thought was that he missed the taste of whiskey: the slight burn as it went down, the imparting warmth. But then again, he missed a lot of things: long, hot showers, Kobe steaks, bottled water, his bed… their bed—Maria, warm and soft at his side, her mouth curved in a smile, the feel of her breath against his neck.

God, he missed her. It was an ache in his chest that wouldn't go away no matter how hard he tried. And he tried, God, he tried. 

He reminded himself that grief had no place in this world; there was only survival. There was only his promise to her, that he would protect Tony, that he would be the father that she wanted him to be. Howard looked over at his son and the ache grew. 

Tony looked like Howard, there was no doubt about that, but there were echoes of Maria on his face: the fullness of his lips, the dark brown of his eyes, and the sweep of his eyelashes on his cheeks.

Howard slid close to Tony and stared down at him. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. They weren't supposed to be huddled here in the remains of what used to be New York City, their bellies aching from hunger, mourning the world. Tony was supposed to have the world at his fingertips, he was supposed to be a prince among men—the best and the brightest of humanity—not the son of Earth's traitor.

His vision blurred and he blinked rapidly. He stroked a finger over Tony's gaunt, dirty cheek, a lump forming in his throat. 

Tony's eyes fluttered open and he frowned. "Dad?" he croaked, sounding young and vulnerable.

I love you, Howard wanted to say, I meant to give you the world. 

But the words caught in his throat. So instead, he put aside his weapon and leaned down, pressed a kiss to Tony's lips. And he meant it as a benediction or maybe an apology, but Tony… Tony parted his lips and Howard…

Howard was so lonely and the curve of Tony's mouth was familiar. It was gentle and Tony moaned and arched and whispered Howard's name so sweetly. It was nothing like the soldiers, it was nothing like their brutality as they tortured and interrogated him—Earth's traitor, tell us, tell us—this was love.

Afterward, Tony curled against his chest, warm and lazy, stroking his hair and murmuring reassurances as Howard sobbed apologies.

"It's okay, Dad. Shh, it's okay." 

But it wasn't okay and it would never be okay again. The world was falling apart, and while he hadn’t destroyed it, he hadn't saved it either.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Camping isn't Howard's forte.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FML!

"Do you know what I hate?" Tony said, feeding twigs and tiny sticks into the fire. "How quiet it is now. Quiet and dark, even in the city."

Howard hummed softly and warmed his hands. It was disconcerting, there had always been something going on in the city, no matter how late, but now New York was like a cemetery; only ghosts and mourners lingered. 

He shivered at the thought and zipped up his jacket. The days were getting shorter, colder, and with the change of weather, the Skitter patrols lessened, but it didn't mean it was less dangerous. Not for him. Not for the most wanted man in the world. That was why they got out of the city and headed north, looking for empty spaces to hide. It was just their luck that they hit a state park. 

"I don't like this, Dad." Tony looked over at Howard; his eyes shadowed and hollow looking. "We don’t know anything about wilderness survival."

"We'll manage." They had to. There were no options left for them. 

Tony stared into the fire, his mouth pressed in a thin line. That worried Howard the most: Tony's silence, his stillness. Tony used to be a talkative, active boy, but since… since Maria died, he'd drawn into himself. "What do you think it's like?"

"What do I think what's like?" There was still beef jerky left. He wondered if he could convince Tony to take his share, too

"Freezing to death." Tony sounded resigned.

"We're not going to freeze to death." They'd probably die of dehydration first; the very thought made his eyes sting. God, he promised Maria, he promised he'd protect Tony, and he couldn’t even do that.

"I'm not stupid, Dad. I know—" He wrapped his arms around himself and swallowed hard.

Howard laid a hand on the back of Tony's neck and squeezed reassuringly. "It's easy," he said. "The cold makes you so tired, you just fall asleep and don't wake up."

"Really?" Tony leaned into him and Howard hugged him tightly.

"Yeah, really." He pressed a kiss to Tony's hair. "But that's not going to happen to us. We're going to find a cabin or a ranger's station."

"A cave?" Tony said, laughing softly.

"Yeah, a cave. A nice warm cave. Without bears or… mountain lions or whatever we have here in New York."

"We'll live like mountain men. Very hairy mountain men." Tony playfully tugged on Howard's beard.

Howard gave a mock growl and rubbed his beard against Tony's cheeks, pulling a yelp from the boy. "Jealousy doesn't become you, son of mine." 

"Who's jealous?" Tony shoved him away, grinning. "I don't want to share my face with lice and fleas."

Howard grimaced, but did *not* scratch at his beard. Instead, he eyed the scraggly wisps on Tony's face. "Sour grapes."

Tony groaned and slumped back on the ground. "I'd kill for any kind of grapes right now."

His mouth watered at the thought; he swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "We still have some beef jerky left." Before Tony could say anything, he rummaged around his pack, pulling out two pieces and handing them over. 

"What about you?" Tony asked, and then crammed a piece into his mouth.

"I had mine earlier." He did not watch Tony chew. He did not give in to the urge to snatch the second piece of jerky from Tony's hands and shove it into his own mouth.

Tony glared at him. "Dad."

"Eat the damn jerky, Tony. I can afford to lose a few pounds." Which was a lie, those three months as a prisoner of the provisional government had taken care of that. 

Tony sighed, but after a moment, ate the second piece and drank some water from their canteen.

"Why don't you get some sleep? I'll wake you in a few hours to keep watch."

"Watch? Who's going to be out here? Besides, it's too cold to sleep alone." Tony pulled out the emergency blanket from his backpack and opened it up. "Join me."

Howard's mouth went dry and his hands shook. "W-what?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm not asking you to feel me up, Dad. God, it's been two months, get over it. It wasn't a big deal."

"It was," he said harshly as he fought down the panic threatening to claw out of him. "It was a big deal. What I did… Tony, what I did—"

"I encouraged you." Tony narrowed his eyes and lifted his chin.

"No, you don't get any of the blame for this. You're the kid, Tony, and I'm the adult. Your dad. And what I did was wrong. And you might… you might think it didn’t cost you anything, but it did. I took something from you, something I should never have taken."

"What?" Tony said scornfully. "My virginity? Hate to tell you, Dad, but I lost that years ago."

Relief washed over Howard, but he soldiered on. "No, not your virginity. Not…" He wanted to say he was sorry, he wanted to ask for forgiveness, but he didn't. What he did was unforgiveable. "Go to sleep, Tony. I'll wake you in a few hours."

"You're being a stubborn jackass." Tony crawled under the blanket and curled towards the fire.

And Tony was being a naïve child.

Howard clenched his hands into fists and his nails bit into his palms. Maria should have left him with his interrogators. She should have let him rot.

He let out a soft gasp and closed his eyes.

*****

Howard didn't know what woke him up, but when he opened his eyes, a filthy, bedraggled boy crouched next to the fire, watching him with narrowed eyes. He glanced around and saw Tony on the ground, curled in the ball, sleeping. He let out a sigh and relaxed.

"Hi," he said softly to the boy and smiled.

The boy tilted his head and considered Howard for a moment before slowly crawling closer. When he was crouching above Howard, he leaned down and sniffed delicately.

"Smell better than you, pal."

The boy looked at him with bright blue eyes and smiled. And what a fucking smile it was; innocent and open and absolutely beautiful. Howard hadn't known that people still smiled like that. "Steve," the boy said, then pressed a soft kiss to Howard's mouth.

Howard blinked. "Steve. You greet everyone like that, Steve?"

"No." Tony muttered in his sleep and Steve jerked his head up, nostrils flaring.

"That's my son, Tony. Please don’t hurt him." He gently touched Steve's arm. He knew he should probably grab his gun, but Steve didn't look much older than Tony and, well, he could have slit both their throats while they slept.

"Tony," he repeated, then patted Howard's chest and made a questioning sound.

He should probably give an alias. "Howard." 

Steve smiled again and repeated his name. Then he leaned down and kissed Howard again, tongue slipping between Howard's lips.

"Wow," Tony said in a sleep-rough voice, startling them both from the kiss: Howard's face grew hot. "That's what I get for falling asleep on the job. I wake up to my dad getting bad-touched by a dirty wood nymph."

Steve laughed and pointed at himself. "Steve."

"Okay." Tony ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed his eyes. Then he stretched, his hand slowly inching towards his gun. "I'm—"

"Tony," Steve said, then he touched Howard's face and whispered, fondly, "Howard."

"Oh, did we do introductions already? My bad." Tony's fingers touched the gun, but he didn't pick it up. 

"Food!" Steve said, suddenly, and sat up. He looked from Howard to Tony and back again. 

"Food?" Howard's stomach clenched at the thought and he sat up. "You have food?"

Steve smiled, then in a quick movement, scooped up a rock and threw it at Tony with an commanding 'no.'

Tony yelped, jerking away from the gun, as the rock hit the back of his hand. "Fuck, that hurt."

"Tony, are you okay?" His voice shook slightly and Steve frowned.

"I'm fine, Dad. He didn't break anything." Tony cradled his hand to his chest and wiggled his fingers.

"No. Please?" Steve looked pleadingly at Howard. "Food."

"I think he's asking us not to try anything shifty, Dad." Tony held up his hands. "We won't try it again. We promise. It was stupid anyway. Shooting you would be like shooting a puppy. A filthy puppy who probably has worms and ticks."

"Tony!" Howard rolled his eyes. "Food would be nice, Steve. Thank you." 

Steve smiled at him again, all sweet innocence—for a moment Howard couldn't breathe—then he bounded away into the darkness.

"Okay," Tony said, "that was fucking weird. Tell me that wasn't fucking weird."

"Yeah." Howard rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"You think he's alone?" Tony crawled over to Howard.

"I hope not. It's obvious he's…" He wasn't sure what Steve was, but the boy shouldn't be alone.

"He's totally into you, though. Way to go, Dad." Tony playfully punched him on the arm, but there was a note in Tony's voice that gave Howard pause.

"Hey, I love your mom and I love you," he said, stroking the hair back from Tony's face. "That'll never change. I'm just… I'm rolling with the punches right now. Okay?"

Tony quirked his mouth and leaned into Howard's body. "Yeah, okay." 

*****

When Steve came back, he was carrying a small sack with him. He sank down to the ground and rummaged through it.

God, Howard hoped there really was food in there, otherwise he might cry. When Steve pulled out a couple of wrinkly apples, he almost did. His hands trembled and he clasped them in his lap so he wouldn't snatch them away from Steve.

Steve smiled, his lashes lowered, his cheeks pink from the cold, then tossed Tony an apple before presenting the second one to Howard. "Food," he said, softly.

Tony bit into the apple and moaned. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, this is so good."

Howard took the apple and brought it to his mouth, but he didn’t bite into it. Not yet. "What about you?"

Steve reached into his sack and took out an orange; the scent filled the air and he desperately wanted it.

"I'll trade you," Howard said hoarsely, shoving the apple at Steve and snatching the orange from his hand. It was rude, so horribly rude, but Howard didn’t care. He didn’t bother peeling it, he just bit right through the peel. He squeezed his eyes and chewed slowly, savoring the flavor, and didn't stop until there was nothing left.

"Hungry?" Tony asked. 

"Fuck you." He rubbed his sticky hands on his pants and opened his eyes. Steve was looking at him intently and he smiled at the boy.

Steve traced the curve of his mouth, then leaned in and kissed him.

Howard let the kiss go on for a few seconds, then gently pushed Steve away. "Thank you." 

"Hey, where's my kiss?" Tony crossed his arms over his chest and… was he pouting?

Steve tilted his head, then with a smirk, pressed a kiss to Tony's nose. Tony blinked in surprise and Steve giggled.

"Fucking weird," Tony said again and shook his head.

"Steve, are you alone?" he asked, touching Steve's arm. The boy looked at him and frowned. "Where's your mom and dad, Steve?" God, please let Steve's parents be alive. 

"Mom?" Steve's eyes lit up with happiness, then he picked up a stick and quickly sketched a picture of a woman in the dirt; it was surprisingly good. 

Tony inched closer to Steve and said, softly, "She's pretty. Can we meet her?"

Steve looked at Tony for a long moment, then he nodded. "Mom." He got to his feet and kicked dirt onto the fire to put it out, destroying his portrait in the process.

"I guess we're supposed go now." Tony raised an eyebrow.

"I guess so." Howard only hoped that Steve's mom wouldn't recognize him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard is pretty fucked up. But so are the people around him, so it sort of evens out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this story is sort of wanting to be something different than it was supposed to be. I blame both Tony and my Partner in Crime. Stupid, sexy, Tony Stark.
> 
> Anyway, I am taking some time to reevaluate. Really, I don't expect the reevaluation to take very long. A few days probably. :D

Howard had always been a city boy, much to his father's chagrin, so stomping around the forest in the middle of the night was not something he often did. His father had tried: there had been camping trips with business associates where they'd fish and hunt. Whenever he was dragged along, Howard would stay in the tent (or cabin, if he was lucky), working on schematics or reading. 

He really should have paid attention. 

*****

They reach the cabin sometime mid-morning. 

"Oh, thank fuck," Tony said with a groan, stumbling to a stop. "I think my feet are going to fall off."

Howard put an arm around Tony's waist in reassurance, though he wasn't doing much better. Tony twisted against him, cupping a hand against his hip, butting against his chest. He hugged Tony tight, enjoying the feeling of lax warmth. "Put your gun away," he said softly.

Tony nodded, lifting his head and brushing his lips against Howard's jaw. Then he pushed away before Howard could react. "Yeah."

"Mom," Steve called, yanking open the front door and rushing in the cabin. "Mom, Mom, Mom!"

Howard shivered and stuck his weapon in his pack, then he straightened his clothing. It was a stupid gesture; he hadn't had a proper shower in ages and his last bath consisted of him wading in a river and scrubbing himself with a scrap of torn t-shirt.

When Steve reemerged, he brought a very pretty blonde woman with him; she gave a startled look when she saw them. "Mom, Tony!"

Shit. Howard moved forward quickly and offered her his hand. "Henry."

Steve frowned and tilted his head.

"Sarah." She took his hand and shook it quickly. Howard could see how nervous she was; he didn't blame her.

"We owe your son a debt of gratitude. Neither Tony or I know much about surviving outside of the city." Howard swallowed hard. "We could use a place to… We could—" His voice broke and Tony rushed to his side.

"It's okay, Dad." Tony gripped his arm, hard enough to bruise. "Please, please, we're hard workers. We'll do anything you need."

Sarah's gaze wavered. "We don’t have much."

"Mom?" Steve put a hand on her arm and looked at her steadily until she sighed.

"It's not just my choice. There are two other people in our group who will need to meet you, but they went into the city to scavenge for supplies. They'll be back in a few days." Sarah hesitated. "Leave your things out here and follow me." 

Howard dropped his bag and Tony did the same, then they followed Sarah and Steve into the cabin.

*****

Sarah made them oatmeal with warmed chunks of apple on top. Howard ate his slowly, savoring each spoonful, his hands shaking.

Across from him at the table sat Tony, who was shoveling the oatmeal into his mouth, moaning happily. "I fucking hate oatmeal. I hate it so much." 

"Language, please," Sarah said mildly and Tony blinked in surprise.

"Huh?"

Howard rolled his eyes. "Manners, Tony. I know you remember them."

"Oh, right, manners." Tony smirked. "Yeah, I remember Mom and Jarvis were really big on manners." The smirk faded from Tony's face and he stared hard into the bowl. 

He opened his mouth to offer some sort of comfort, but he was distracted by Steve, who came into the room and handed Howard a pinecone. "Um, thank you." 

Steve smiled at him and gently stroked his face and hair.

"Steve, honey, leave Henry alone." Sarah gripped Steve's arm and tugged, but the boy wouldn’t be deterred. "I'm sorry, he's never… He's never reacted this way with anyone before."

"It's alright," Howard said softly and gently stroked the back of Steve's hand. "Let me finish my breakfast, pal."

"Food." Steve's smile widened and Howard nodded. Before he could respond, Steve ducked down and pressed a kiss to his mouth.

"Steven!" Sarah tugged harder, a horrified look on her face.

Steve turned to his mom and frowned. He touched her face, the tense lines around her eyes, and the downturn of her mouth. He seemed unsettled by her distress. "Mom?"

She opened her mouth, but after a moment, snapped it shut again and shook her head. Steve kissed her cheek and hugged her. She hugged back fiercely, then stepped back. "Go fill the bath for Henry and Tony."

Steve nodded, ran his hand through Howard's hair, and drifted out of the room.

"I'm sure it's just a crush," Howard said, glaring at Tony when he snorted.

Sarah turned to him, her cheeks flushed, her mouth set in a frown. "Steve is… He's…"

"Special?" Tony offered.

"Obstinate." She laughed bitterly and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "He wasn't always like this. Well, no, that's not true. He was always obstinate, but… He was one of the children kidnapped fours years ago. One of the ones the Skitters brought back."

Howard remembered the disappearances, thousands of children, gone in the blink of an eye.

Two years, the children had been missing for two years. Then the Skitters had come, bringing the children with them. Saved, they had said, from some malicious aliens who wanted to use the kids for, well, the Skitters never really said. 

"He wasn’t like this before?" Howard asked. He knew that some of them had come back… different. 

Sarah shook her head. "He was always a quiet boy, studious, but he… It's like he lives in his own little world. One no one can see but him."

"He seems happy," Tony said. "Happier than most of us." 

"I suppose there's that." She took a deep breath and shuddered. "I'll find you both some clean clothes to wear. Soap and towels are in the bathroom."

"Thank you," Howard said and took his bowl to the sink.

*****

Howard let Tony bathe first. He settled on the floor outside the bathroom, eyes closed, listening to the sounds of splashing and Tony singing none too quietly. He let it wash over him, let his mind wander to the image of smooth skin and lean, boyish limbs.

He thought of a warm mouth and thick eyelashes, of golden hair and blue eyes.

*****

The water was lukewarm and slightly murky from Tony's bath, but it was better than a dip in an icy cold river, or the cursory wash he had before then. He undressed quickly, the only thing he left on was the necklace with Maria's ring around his neck. He climbed into the tub, lathered and scrubbed until his skin ached and he felt almost decent. He was making so much noise, he almost didn't hear the door open, then snick shut.

Tony, he thought with exasperation, but when Howard opened his eyes, Steve crouched near the tub.

Steve was frowning and he reached a tentative hand to trace the scars along Howard's back. "Ouch," he said, pressing the flat of his hand to the worst of the scars on Howard's shoulder.

"Yes, ouch." Howard twisted away. "You shouldn't be here. Your mom will be upset."

Steve smiled and peered into the tub.

"Steve." He tugged on Steve's hair to get his attention. "You should go."

But Steve just made an impatient sound and brushed his hand away. 

"Fine," he said. "But you had better protect me from your mom when she comes at me with a gun."

"Howard." Steve laughed and kissed him.

Howard didn't know what he was doing, why he was allowing this boy, this damaged boy, such liberties. "I'm going to hell," he whispered.

"No." Steve's slipped his hand under the water and stroked Howard to completion.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard and Sarah talk, then there's porn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God, I promise there will be plot in the next installment. Goddamn boys.

"I appreciate this," Howard said as he and Sarah sat in the living room of the cabin, listening to the fire snap and crackle in the background. Tony had gone to bed hours earlier and Steve, well, Steve had slipped outside and hadn't been back. Sarah didn’t seem worried, so Howard took his cue from her. 

Sarah shrugged and pulled a blanket over her lap. "Steve was right to bring you here. I've been so wrapped up in surviving that I forgot that was more to living than that. I used to be a nurse, I used to help people."

He smiled. "You still do. Even if the others in your group want us to leave, it's nice to know… it's nice to know there are still people out there willing to give someone a hand."

She smiled back at him and picked at the blanket. "Had you lived in the city?"

"Yes," he said, rubbing his thumb against a stain on the knee of his borrowed pants. "Yes, me, Tony, and my wife." He reached in his shirt and touched Maria's wedding band. "She… She died during… recently."

"I'm sorry." Sarah took a deep breath. "I was lucky, I suppose. My husband died when Steve was just a baby." She snorted. "God, what horrible thing to say."

"If we can't say horrible things at times like these, when can we?"

She laughed at that. "I suppose that's true. So, what did you do?

He hesitated for a moment, then thought, what the hell? "I… I worked in Manhattan. I was an accountant for Stark Industries." 

Sarah hissed softly and for a moment it looked like she might spit; Howard's eyes stung and he looked away. "God, what I'd give to have him right here. I'd… I'd choke him to death with my bare hands."

"Yeah, that's what most people say." He rubbed his eyes with trembling hands.

"You don't feel the same way?" Her voice was harsh. "I lost a lot of friends because of him. Because he betrayed us to the Skitters. Your wife—"

"My wife," he ground out, sharply, "was shot by a *human.* She… You don't know a damn thing about it. So why don't you just… just leave it alone?" He pressed a hand to his mouth before he said more, before he started to cry again, before he admitted that Sarah was right. It was his fault. It was all his fault. The soldiers had been trying for him but Maria had got in the way. No, no, she had saved him, even though he hadn't deserved it. Still didn’t deserve it. 

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I just… I suppose I'm still angry. I guess we all are, all of us. He should pay for what he did to us."

"Who says he hasn't?" Howard slowly got to his feet. "I'll see you in the morning, Sarah."

She blinked up at him, then nodded. "Good night, Henry." 

*****

There's only one bed in the room they've been given and Tony's already curled up on it, the blanket pulled up low on his hips, showing the smooth expanse of his back. Tony's skin almost glowed in the moonlight streaming from the window. Howard's mouth went dry and something hot and sick twisted in his stomach. He knew what he should do: take the extra blanket and sleep on the floor or maybe ask Sarah if there was another empty room, empty bed.

But he didn't. 

Instead he stripped out of his clothes and slid into bed, doing his best to keep space between them. 

Tony stirred, rolling towards him, and said, sleepily, "Dad?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm right here, pal." 

Tony's eyes fluttered open and even in the darkness, Howard could see him smile. "Hi."

And Howard shouldn't, fuck, he shouldn't, but that smile, Howard wanted to feel that smile against his mouth, warm and familiar. "Hi," he said, cupping Tony's face.

Tony parted his lips and slid closer, wrapping an arm around Howard's waist. What could Howard do but press a warm kiss to Tony's mouth, licking at the curved lips, then delving inside for a taste, just a taste. Tony moaned, arching against him and Howard could feel the hardness of his cock.

Howard shuddered. *God.* He gripped Tony's ass, pulling him close, and slipped two fingers between Tony's cheeks to finger him.

"Oh," Tony moaned against his mouth. "Da—Howard." 

"Shhh." Howard deepened the kiss and rolled them over so that Tony was under him. "Don't want Sarah to hear." 

"Please," Tony whispered, hooking a leg around Howard's hip. "Please, fuck me. Please, Dad."

Howard covered Tony's mouth with his hand and Tony licked his palm, pulling a startled moan from him; Tony was such a fucking tease. "We'll need something." He wasn't going to take Tony with just spit. Not again.

Tony flailed his hand up and under the pillow and pulled out a tube of Vaseline.

"Where—" 

Tony pushed his hand away and smiled again. "First aid kit."

Howard kissed him again, hard and messy and fuck, he remembered what it felt like being inside Tony, tight and hot. He remembered the way Tony moaned, like it hurt but not so much that he wanted to stop. Fuck! He snatched the tube from Tony and opened it, squeezing too much onto his fingers.

Then he pushed two fingers into Tony's body and stretched him. Tony whimpered and grimaced, his erection wilting; Howard stroked it with his free hand, urging it back to hardness. And when Tony was loose, wiggling and moaning, Howard pulled out his fingers, slicked his cock and pushed in. 

Tony gasped, arching up into Howard's body, a look of confusion crossing his face, like he wasn’t sure whether it felt good or not. 

"Shhh." Howard stroked his hair; he was tighter than Howard remembered. So tight. Virgin tight, almost Oh, fuck! He thrust into Tony, and Tony, Tony moved with him, hands clutching his shoulder.

"Please, please, please," Tony whispered, sounding lost and broken. "Dad."

Howard knew he should stop, he knew he should pull out and hold Tony and promise to never do it again. It would be a lie, but he could do it. If he wanted to. But he didn't want to. He wanted this pleasure, he wanted to kiss Tony's mouth and fuck his ass and look into his brown eyes, which were so like his mother's, and pretend that everything was alright. 

That this was alright. 

"Dad, oh, Dad." Tony reached between them and jerked himself and Howard watched the play of pleasure on his face.

"Were you… Did I…" Did he want to know? Did he need to know? "You were a virgin, when I took you. You were, weren't you?"

Tony whimpered and worked himself on Howard's cock and fuck if that didn't drive Howard crazy. 

"Tony, answer the question." He fucked into Tony harder, his breath coming in harsh sobs, sweat stinging his eyes.

'Y-Yes," Tony said. "D-Dad, yes." 

Oh, God, that shouldn't—Howard bit back a cry as pleasure arched through him, pushing him over the edge until all that was left was the blinding heat of orgasm. It took him the better part of three minutes before his brain came back online and he was aware of Tony's body, lax and warm, underneath him. He pulled out gently and flopped onto his back. 

Tony rolled over onto his belly and let out a sigh. "Gonna feel that tomorrow."

Howard felt a pang of guilt at that. "Are you in pain?"

Tony shook his head. "Naw, I'm great. Perfect."

He opened his mouth, he wasn't sure what he wanted to say, but he felt he should say something, when the door opened. His heart practically leapt to this throat, then he heard Steve whisper his name. 

"Hey, Steve," Tony said. "Come in and close the door." 

Steve slipped into the room and shut the door behind him. Then he crawled into bed beside Howard.

"You shouldn't be here, Steve." Not that it mattered what he said, what anyone said. He had the feeling that Steve did what he wanted.

Steve delicately sniffed Howard's hair, then his mouth, then traveled down his body, just sniffing, a puzzled look on his face. He sniffed Howard's crotch and Howard felt his face heat.

"You could ask, you know?" Tony gave a soft laugh, then giggled when Steve sniffed his neck. 'That tickles."

Steve looked up at Howard and smiled, slowly. And this wasn't the innocent open smile he'd been giving Howard all day, there was something dirty about this one. Wicked. He ran his palm down Tony's back, then followed with his mouth, licking and pressing kisses downward.

"Oh, hey!" Tony looked over his shoulder.

"I can make him stop, if you want," Howard said, and his voice was thick with arousal because, because Steve kept looking up at him under those thick eyelashes of his, watching Howard's reaction. 

"No," Tony said, his breath going ragged. "No, I'm—oh!"

Steve had spread Tony's cheeks apart and was licking him.

"Oh! Oh, Dad, he's… he's putting his tongue in me. He's…" Tony let his head drop to the bed and he moaned loudly. "God, Dad, he's sucking out your… your…" 

Howard wished he had a candle or flashlight, so he could see the flush, the pleasure, that must be on Tony's face, so he could see more than just shadows as Steve ate out his son. 

Tony's moans got louder—Howard pressed a hand to his mouth to quiet him—and he writhed on the bed.

It was obscene and Howard could stop looking, didn’t want to stop looking. Tony's mouth was hot and wet and he could feel the vibration of his moans against his palm. And the wet, slurping sounds that Steve made shook him to the core and he wished he could get hard again, wished he could slide behind Steve and fuck him.

Suddenly, Tony tensed and let out a muffled cry; Howard could see the way his body thrummed as he came. Then, as if he was a puppet whose string had been cut, Tony slumped down, loose-limbed. "Fuck," he slurred. "Stop, Steve. Enough." 

Steve pulled away with a slick pop and looked at Howard, smiling. His mouth was shiny-wet and swollen, like he'd just had his mouth fucked. He crawled over to Howard, his eyes hot and Howard, God, Howard wanted anything, wanted everything, Steve was offering. When Steve kissed him, he moaned, tasting himself and Tony.

"Howard," Steve groaned, rubbing himself against Howard's body.

"I know, baby, I know." Howard reached down to undo Steve's pants and draw out his cock. "Let me suck you. Let me…" He rolled Steve over and Tony put a hand over Steve's mouth. His breath hitched in his throat and he swallowed Steve's cock. He didn't bother with finesse, or tricks, Steve was too far-gone for that. He just sucked hard and held down Steve by the hips, enjoying the taste, the sensation of being filled.

And when Steve came, he swallowed, happily.

Then both boys curled around him, like puppies, and they drifted off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets are revealed and decisions are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, hopefully Peggy and Bucky will have more to do in the next chapter. Meanwhile, I keep getting story ideas where characters do horrible things to Howard. Horrible, dirty, filthy, sexy things. Oh, Howard, why do I love you so? 
> 
> Also, is it just me or do other people giggle when they read, "OMG, Howard was in his fifties when he had Tony? Why didn't they just make him Tony's grandpa!" Kids, relax, it's not that weird. Also, being fifty something is not old. *pat pat*

Howard fought so very hard in the beginning. He struggled against each indignity, he told his story, over and over again, hoping that someone would believe him.

But nobody believed him. 

And in the end, something inside of him broke.

So he lied. He told the soldiers, he said, "They promised to protect my wife and son. They promised to keep them safe. That's why I gave them the information. That's why I helped them."

He thought that maybe the soldiers would kill him. But they didn't. Instead they—

He lied there, let them hurt him, let them torture him. It was easier than fighting. Easier than hoping that one of them would believe him or show mercy.

*****

Howard sat at the table, sipping tea made from spearmint Steve brought a few days ago. It tasted disgusting without sugar or honey to sweeten it, but it was hot and they didn't have coffee. Steve and Tony were sprawled on the floor, a box of crayons between them. Tony was working on some sort of schematic—body armor from the looks of it—using the red and yellow crayons. Steve was drawing the cityscape, humming softly under his breath, stopping every so often to look at Howard from under his lashes. 

He felt a slight stab of lust, followed hard by guilt. He took a deep breath, let it out slowly, then took another sip of his tea.

On the floor, Steve lifted his head and tensed, eyes narrowing.

"What is it?" he asked and Steve smiled.

"Bucky," Steve said, scrambling to his feet. "Peggy. Mom! Mom, Bucky! Peggy!" Then he ran out the door.

Tony stood and shrugged. "I guess Bucky and Peggy are here."

"I didn't hear anything." Howard looked out the window as Sarah came into the room.

"Steve has good hearing." Sarah frowned and looked out the window. "They're back early. I hope everything's okay. " She ran her fingers through her hair and let out a weary sigh before heading outside herself. 

He and Tony watched from the window as a jeep pulled up to the front of the cabin. The passengers were both young, about Steve's age, and good looking. Tony let out an appreciative whistle and Howard fought the urge to pull Tony into his arms. He watched them greet each other with hugs and kisses; Steve was practically vibrating with pleasure, touching their faces and hair and offering them smiles, which they returned. 

Then Sarah said something that neither of them liked, and gestured to the cabin.

Howard sighed. "I think that's our cue to go out and meet them."

"Should I get our guns?" Tony asked, tangling his fingers with Howard's and squeezing gently.

"No, but stay behind me." He pulled his hand from Tony's and with his heart pounding in his chest, he went out to meet them.

"Henry, there you are." Sarah didn't quite smile, but she gestured him closer. "Bucky, Peggy, I'd like you to meet Henry and his son Tony."

"Nice to meet you both." Howard smiled and fought the urge to fidget. 

Bucky nodded a hello and Peggy started to smile back at him, then—Howard saw the moment she recognized him, saw the smile slip from her face, her eyes widening, and before he could react, she grabbed her gun and pulled the trigger. 

He heard someone scream a 'no'—maybe it was Tony, but it could have been Steve—and felt someone tackle him. He let out a 'oof' and his head hit the ground with a thundering agony. He thought maybe he screamed, then he blacked out.

*****

Howard woke up with a pounding headache. He groaned softly, touching the back of his head; his hair was matted and there was a lump the size of an egg. He rubbed his eyes and looked around the dark room. Oh, they'd put him in the cellar. "Tony?"

"He's upstairs," said Sarah, who stepped out of the shadows; she had a gun in one hand, a lantern in the other. "We thought it would be best to keep you two separated."

He carefully sat up, wincing as his head throbbed. "Are you here to kill me?"

"I haven't decided yet." She tilted her head. "Are you going to beg for your life?"

"No. I always knew I was living on borrowed time. I'll beg for Tony's though, if it'll help." He swallowed hard. "He's just a kid. An innocent kid."

"That innocent kid gave Bucky a black eye and threatened to shoot Peggy."

"He's scared. I'm all he has left. Wouldn’t Steve act the same way if someone threatened to hurt you?"

"I'm more concerned with how my son acts around you, Stark. He saved your life." She sounded almost disgusted about that.

He cleared his throat. "Maybe he didn't want to see any of you become murderers." 

Sarah clenched her jaw. "Have you been screwing my boy, Stark?"

"You said so yourself, Steve has a mind of his own. I haven't actively pursued it, but he… he's persistent." Howard let out a weary sigh.

"I should kill you for that." She didn't pull the trigger, though.

"You're not a murderer." God, his head was killing him.

"It wouldn't be murder. It'd be justice." Her voice trembled. "Millions of people are dead because of you, because of what you did!"

Not quite, but close enough, so he said, "I know."

"So why shouldn't I?" Her hand shook a bit and he knew that she was looking for an excuse not to do it.

Howard thought about lunging at her or taunting her, but as much as he wanted to end his own pain, he knew he wouldn’t do either. He still had Tony to think about. "You're not a killer, Sarah. You're a good person, a compassionate person. I might be a monster, but I'm still Tony's dad. And you know, you know if you kill me, he'll run. He'll run and he won't survive the winter. Not by himself."

"I have my own kid to worry about."

He closed his eyes against the stinging of his eyes. "I promised his mom before she died that I'd keep him safe. I promised her. Please, *please,*" he said, "don't make me a liar."

"You can't stay here!"

"I know." He shuddered. "I'll go. I'll leave, just let Tony stay. Just let him stay." 

She was quiet for a long while; he opened his eyes. She was staring at him. "Alright. He can stay if he wants."

"Thank you," he said, softly.

"I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for his mother." She hesitated for a moment, and he knew what was coming; he braced himself. "Why? Why did you do it?"

He let out a tired laugh and winced as his head throbbed. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you." 

Sarah lifted her chin and he almost laughed again because he'd seen Steve make that same gesture at least a half dozen times in the past few days. "Try me."

He should lie, like he did to the soldiers. He should tell her what she wanted to hear, but all he could think was, maybe she'd be the one to believe him. "I didn't betray anyone. I'm not the one who gave the Skitters the information on our defenses. It wasn't me."

She snorted and gave him a disgusted look. "Right. And the military, what's left of our government, they put a price on your head for the fun of it." 

His eyes stung and he rubbed them. "I told you," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "I told you that you wouldn’t believe me."

"You'll leave tomorrow morning. You can take what you came with, that's it."

"That's all I need." He slowly got to his feet, doing his best to ignore the slight dizziness. He followed Sarah up the stairs and into the cabin. Tony flung himself at Howard, clutching him tightly. The others watched them; even Steve kept his distance.

"Dad," he sad, his voice small and frightened.

Howard hugged him and pressed a kiss to his hair. "Easy, Tony. I'm okay. Shhh, everything's okay."

"I thought… I…" Tony lifted his head; his eyelashes were wet and Howard wanted to kiss him.

"Sarah and I talked, we came to an agreement." He rubbed Tony's back and led him towards the couch. He needed to sit down before he collapsed. Just as he sat on the couch, Tony tucked against him. Steve hissed softly and darted forward. "What—fuck!" He jerked away when Steve touched the bump on his head, then groaned in pain—it felt like someone had shoved a metal spike into his head.

"Ouch," Steve said, then grabbed Howard by the chin and stared into his eyes. "Mom, ouch!"

"I know, Steve." She crossed her arms over her chest and Steve looked at her.

"Mom?" He frowned. "Peggy? Bucky?"

Bucky shook his head. "Don't look at me, buddy. I think he deserves whatever he got."

Peggy continued to clean her gun.

Steve pressed his lips together and moment later he got up and stomped over to the kitchen.

"Are you alright, Dad?" Tony gently touched the lump and Howard winced.

"I'm fine," he said, closing his eyes as Tony gently stroked his hair.

"So what's the agreement?" Tony's voice was soft and it made Howard smile. "Dad? What— Oh, hey, Steve, good idea."

Howard opened his eyes, just as Steve pressed a cool, wet cloth to the back of his head. He hissed softly, but didn't move away.

"Ouch," Steve said, and pressed his mouth to Howard's.

"What the hell, Steve!" Bucky jumped to his feet. 

Steve looked over at him and glared. They stared at each other for a long moment, then Bucky turned away.

"Fine. You do whatever the fuck you want anyway!" He stormed out of the cabin; Peggy sighed and followed him.

Tony blinked and shook his head. "So what's the agreement? Are we staying?"

Howard swallowed hard and took the cloth from Steve so he could hold it himself. "You are. I'm leaving in the morning."

"What! No!" Tony scrambled to his feet. "No, Dad, you're not leaving without me." 

"Yes," he said softly, "I am." 

"You'll die out there!" Tony's voice broke and he clenched his hands. 

"You think coming with me is going to change that, Tony?"

"Maybe? I got you out of that prison, didn't I?"

"You had help." Howard swallowed hard. Steve, he didn't know if Steve understood what was going on, but maybe he did on some level because he hugged Howard and pressed a kiss to his jaw, then went to stand next to Sarah. "I promised your mom that I'd keep you safe. But I can't keep you safe, Tony. Sarah can." 

"I don't care! I'm not leaving you! I'm not!"

"Yes, you are." Howard felt a sense of calm, suddenly; he knew he was doing the right thing. "And if you try to follow me, Tony, I promise you, I'll eat a bullet. I'll eat a bullet before I let you die with me."

"Please." Tears slid down Tony's cheeks and he trembled. "Please, Daddy, don't leave me. Please, don't go away."

"Tony." He held out his arms and Tony pressed against him and cried.

"Don't go, don't go. Please, don't go."

Howard stroked his hair. "I love you. Tony, I love you. You're going to be okay. You're strong. You're so strong. You get that from your mom, you know: my brains and her strength. You'll be fine." 

Tony just cried harder and clutched Howard's shirt.

*****

Steve stayed away that night, for which Howard was both grateful and slightly hurt. But he made the most of it. He traced patterns across Tony's skin with his fingers and tongue, committing to memory every sound and sight and taste.

He knew it would be the only thing to get him through the next… well, however long he had.

*****

Before he left, he untied the string around his neck, took off his wedding ring, and slipped it next to Maria's. Then he tied it around Tony's neck. "Your mom would be so proud of you," he said. "Just like I am."

Tony's lower lip trembled, but he didn't cry.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard leaves but doesn't get very far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I am finally getting into the groove of this. About damn time, too, since I think I'll be hitting the halfway mark soon. Plot will happen in the second half. Stupid plot.

Howard's head pounded so badly that his vision blurred with the pain, but he didn't stop walking. He stumbled along the trail, fighting back the nausea. All he wanted to do was curl up somewhere warm and safe and sleep until he felt better. But he couldn't, he had to keep walking. The greater distance he put between himself and the camp, the better. He couldn't risk Tony looking for him or the others hunting him. 

He stumbled on a root and fell hard on his hand and knees. He let out a frustrated sob and blinked rapidly, trying to clear his vision, but with no success. He took deep breath, then another, before climbing to his feet and resuming his hike.

Well, if he didn't die of exposure, the concussion would kill him. 

*****

He didn't get very far before he stopped. He found a nice little clearing well away from the trail, and curled up on a patch of grass. He knew that he should eat, but the very thought of food made him gag. 

He closed his eyes and tried to hold very still to keep the pain in his head from spiking. And—

He must have passed out, because the next thing he knew he was waking with a start as a warm hand touched his cheek. He blinked slowly—it was dark and cold—as his eyes slowly focused. "Steve?"

"Howard," Steve said softly and smiled. 

"You shouldn’t be here." He tried to sit up but Steve held him down with a hand on his chest. 

"No, Howard. Ouch. Shhh." Steve stroked his hair, then placed a soft bundle under his head.

"You should be at home, with your mom and your friends. With T-Tony." His eyes stung and he let out a soft, shaky breath.

Steve made a sound of distress and kissed Howard on the mouth. "Shh, shh."

"Sorry," he said, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. 

"Food?" Steve patted him on the shoulder and Howard made a face.

"God, no, I couldn't eat right now." He pressed a hand to his stomach. "Ouch."

Steve nodded and offered him water instead. That he did take; he let Steve prop him up and trickle water into his mouth from a canteen. Then Steve laid him back down and curled against him. "Mmm, Howard." 

"What's your fascination with me, kid?" he asked, stroking Steve's hair. "Am I just some giant fuck toy to you? Because I gotta tell you, that's not flattering."

Steve sighed and pressed his hand over Howard's mouth. "Shh."

"Okay," Howard said in a muffled voice. "I can take a hint." 

*****

Howard woke to rain and a headache that was worse than the one the day before. He tried to sit up, but when he did, agony exploded in his head. He heaved and that made the pain worse, but he couldn't stop. 

He felt strong arms wrap around him and hold him close. He whimpered, closing his eyes and pressing his face against a warm chest. 

Steve, he thought, before passing out.

The next time he woke, he thought he was dreaming. He was in a room with a crackling fire, cocooned in blankets on a soft bed. He felt terrible, hot and achy and unbearably tired. But at least he was dry. The door to the room opened and Steve strode in, naked, though his hair was damp and wild, a thermos in his hand. He smiled at Howard, his eyes bright. 

"Steve," he said. "Where are we? Are we home?"

Steve frowned at that, his lips pressing together and Howard took that as a no.

"So this is a bolthole, then?" he asked, but Steve just sat on the bed and looked puzzled.

"Food." Steve unscrewed the top off the thermos and poured… oh, soup into the cup.

Howard sat up and took the cup from Steve. He sipping the lukewarm liquid even though he wasn't hungry. "Thank you." 

Steve gave him a fond look and kissed his nose.

*****

At night, Steve slept beside him, a warm, heavy weight that Howard could cling to, though he knew he shouldn't. It would only make things harder when he was well enough to leave. 

*****

Howard woke to the sound of Steve whimpering softly, hands clenching and unclenching the sheets. He could feel the tension in the boy's trembling body and he frowned. 

"Steve," he whispered, laying a hand on Steve's back. "Sweetheart, wake up."

Steve groaned harshly and jerked away from Howard's touch. It was enough to wake him. Steve lifted his head and Howard could see the tear-tracks, the mouth twisted in fear and unhappiness.

Howard stroked his cheek and Steve let out a sob, eyes glittering in the moonlight. "You're safe, Steve. Shh, you're safe."

Steve looked at Howard solemnly, like he knew Howard was lying.

And wasn’t he? Wasn't he lying? The human race was dead; this was just the last twitches of its prolonged death throes. He pulled Steve into his arms and murmured softly. "It was just a nightmare. You're safe, you're safe right here with me"

Steve relaxed against him and let out a soft, shaky breath.

*****

Steve was fine the next morning. His eyes were clear and bright, and he gave Howard a brilliant, sleepy smile and a kiss before climbing out of bed to find them breakfast presumably. 

Howard stayed in bed, feeling tired and sore from the aftermath of his sickness. He dozed on and off for a bit, before growing bored. He hadn't moved from this bed in days and wanted a change of scenery. He slowly climbed out bed; his legs were shaky, but he'd be all right as long as he didn't overtax himself. There was a cold sting to the air that made him shiver, so he grabbed the quilt off the bed and wrapped himself in it.

He stumbled out of the room and down the hall to the main living area. He let out a gasp and stared at the walls, his eyes widening in surprise. The walls of the room were covered in… well, in art: landscapes and cityscapes, people and animals caught in the act of living. It was humanity at its best, it was New York at its best. He touched the part of the wall where Steve had drawn Lower Manhattan in Sharpie. He moved slowly around the room; Brooklyn was in crayon, Central Park in colored markers, the Hudson in chalk. 

The front door opened, suddenly, and Howard gasped, but it was only Steve with their breakfast. Steve who grinned and said Howard's name in a voice filled with joy. Howard's eyes stung at that, overwhelmed by emotion. He cleared his throat. "Steve, Steve, what is this?" 

Steve set down the thermos and apples on the floor and walked over. He traced the silhouette of buildings that was Manhattan and said softly, "Home." 

Howard let out a pained sound, horror and grief warring within him, leaving him gasping for breath.

"Howard." Steve held him tight and kissing him. "Shhh."

"It's gone. Steve, it's gone and I did that. It's my fault." He clutched Steve's shirt and sobbed. "It's my fault."

"No. No, no, no." Steve replied, like he understood a damn thing Howard said 

"You don't know me. You don't know. I'm a monster. I… I… You don’t know a goddamn thing about me."

"Home," Steve said softly and rubbed his back. "Howard, home. F… F-Family."

"You're crazy," he said, closing his eyes. "I don't know why I listen to you at all."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard tries to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, look it here. Another update.

Howard sneaked away while Steve went out to get them breakfast—and if yesterday's oatmeal was any indication, he was getting it from his mom, and would be awhile. So Howard left, because the longer he stayed, the harder it would be to go, and he needed to go, for Tony's safety. And for Steve's. 

It was easier this time without a concussion or fever to slow him down. He stopped midday to rest his feet, have some beef jerky, and take a nap—he still felt a little weak. Just as he finished his jerky, an apple landed on the ground next to him. He looked up at the trees with a frown; none of them had looked like apple trees, and he didn't see any more fruit.

Then he realized why. He picked up the apple and sighed. "Steve, come out here." 

Steve landed on the ground a few feet from Howard and he wasn't smiling.

"Don't glower at me. You know why I couldn't stay." He ate the apple slowly. "How long have you been following me?"

Steve sat on the ground and stared up at the trees, completely ignoring him.

"Steve, c'mon, you're being childish." He reached over and touched Steve's hand but there still wasn't any reaction. He sprawled back on the ground and closed his eyes. "I'm taking a nap."

That proved to be a mistake because he woke up an indeterminate amount of time later when Steve slung him over shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"What the hell are you doing? Steve, put me down! Steve!" He struggled, but not too hard; he didn’t want Steve to drop him.. But all Steve did was pat him on the ass and hum softly.

He tried five more times in the space of two weeks and each time Steve found him and hauled him back, no matter how much he fought and screamed. The last time, though, Steve bypassed the bolthole and went straight back to camp.

"No," Howard said. "Steve, no. Don’t do this. Your mom, the others—Steve, please!"

But Steve ignored him and instead carried him into the cabin and set him on the ground, much to the shock of everyone, if their expressions were any indication.

"Dad," Tony cried out and flung himself into Howard's arms.

Howard hugged him fiercely " Tony. God, Tony." 

"What the hell is going on here?" Sarah asked, rising to her feet.

Howard looked up at her. "Ask Steve. He's the one who won't let me leave. I tried a half a dozen times to leave and each time he'd haul me back to one of the other cabins."

"Is that true, Steve?" 

Steve crossed his arms over his chest, lifted his chin, and looked at his mother defiantly.

"Why?" Her voice cracked.

Steve sighed, relaxing his body, and touched her face. "Mom, Howard family."

"Are you freaking crazy?" Bucky jumped out of his seat, startling everyone in the room. "You know who he is, Steve! You know what he did! And you want us to let him in here? You call him family? What's the matter with you?"

Steve's gaze traveled from Bucky, to his mother, to Peggy. He dropped to his knees, took Howard's face in his hands and gave Howard a hot, hungry kiss. Then he looked up at them and said in a voice filled with determination, "Howard, home." 

"Steve—" Sarah started, then pressed her lips together when Steve growled. "Fine… just..." She sighed and her shoulders slumped.

Peggy shook her head and got to her feet. "I hope you know what you're doing, Steve. I'm going hunting. Are you coming, Bucky?"

"Gimme a minute." Bucky took a deep breath. "You sure you wanna do this, Steve? Are you sure?" They stared at one another as if silently conversing—who knew? Maybe they were. Bucky looked away, finally, and rubbed his temples. "Fine, you do whatever you want, Steve. You always do, no matter what anyone else thinks." He followed Peggy out of the cabin.

Tony let out a shuddery breath and smiled at Steve. "Thanks." 

Steve grinned back at Tony, then tackled him to the ground and ticked him. Tony let out a yelp, then laughed hysterically, begging Steve to stop.

Howard blinked rapidly, feeling a bit dizzy. "No one even asked me what I wanted."

Sarah snorted. "Welcome to the club." 

*****

At bedtime, Steve yawned, took Howard's hand, and tugged it until he rose to his feet. He knew that Steve was making a point, a very heavy-handed point, so he didn't argue. They didn't go to the bedroom he had shared with Tony, instead they went to Steve's room. His things were already piled in a corner.

"Well, I guess I'll be staying here from now on?"

Steve smiled and pushed Howard down on the bed. He slowly unbuttoned Howard's shirt, pressing soft kisses to the uncovered skin.

"Steve," he said, breathlessly. "I don't think this is a good—fuck!" Steve gently bit a Howard's right nipple, then laved it with the flat of his tongue. 

The door to the bedroom opened, and Tony slipped inside, closing and locking the door behind him. "Oh, good, you just started." Tony quickly undressed and joined them in bed. "Hi, Dad." He licked Howard's mouth and slid a hand down to pinch and tug the nipple Steve wasn't currently playing with.

Howard moaned, capturing Tony's mouth in a kiss, and dug his fingers into Steve's hair. "We shouldn't— We—" He cried out again as Steve rubbed his cock through his pants.

"Yeah," Tony said, his cheeks flushed and his mouth red and swollen. "Get him hard, Steve. Get him dripping wet. I want his dick in my ass. I want—" Tony moaned and rubbed his cock. "I want him to fuck me and I want you to lick me out. Please."

Steve grinned and licked Tony's mouth.

"You're going to kill me," Howard said, panting harshly. "You're both going to fucking kill me." 

*****

"He doesn't like me," Tony said later, when Steve was snoring into the pillow and Howard was drifting towards sleep himself.

"Hmm?"

"Steve, he… well, okay, he does like me, but he doesn't want me." Tony rubbed his cheek against Howard's shoulder.

Howard opens his eyes and gently rubs the back of Tony's neck. "Why do you say that?"

"Haven't you noticed that he only does stuff with me when you're looking?"

He had, in fact, noticed that. 

"And I tried a couple of times, you know, when we were alone. But he just tickles me or ruffles my hair or wrestles with me—and not in a fun way—like I'm a kid." Tony sounded pretty damn miffed about that.

"You are younger than he is." 

Tony shrugged. "He's really into you. Do you… do you want me to go back to my room? Do you want…" He hugged Howard tightly and bit his bottom lip.

It took Howard a moment to understand what Tony was trying to get at. "Do you want to stop this, Tony? You know you don't have to do any of this. I love you and I will always love you, no matter if you're in your bed or mine."

"I want to be here with you," Tony said softly. "I don't want to be anywhere else, Dad." 

"Then this is where I want to you to be, too, okay?" He kissed Tony's forehead.

"What about Steve?"

He laughed softly. "Tony, if Steve minded, don't you think he'd find a way to let us know? He's not exactly the type to stand for something he doesn't like." 

Tony smiled at that. "That's true. Boy, I thought Bucky was going to flip his shit."

"More than he had, you mean?" 

"Yeah." Tony cleared his throat. "They're really good people, Dad. They were nice to me after you left, even when I was acting like a dick. They just…." 

"Don't like me. That's understandable." Of course he understood. He could feel Tony tense against him and he felt a flutter of anxiety, he wasn't sure why. Then Tony let out a deep breath and relaxed.

"Good night, Dad." Tony pressed a kiss to Howard's throat.

"Good night, Tony."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look, it's plot! *feeds it*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am on a *roll.* I may even be able to finish this story before all my hair turns grey.

The soldiers used to spit in his food. They would make him stand there and watch as they did it. Then they'd laugh as he ate it. 

*****

Peggy dropped a bowl and it shattered; Howard gasped, his body going rigid as—

_the soldier, Taupin, his name was Taupin, smiled at Howard, and dropped the bowl of gruel. The bowl shattered and the gruel splattered on the dirty floor._

_Howard hadn't eaten in two days and he let out a soft, despairing sound._

_"Well, what are you waiting for," Taupin said, and the others laughed. "Eat it."_

_He clenched his hands and took a deep breath before dropping to his knees. He scooped up what he could, but before he could bring it to his mouth, Taupin kicked him in the hip. He cried out, curling in on himself."_

_"Not with your hands, asshole! Lick it off the floor."_

_He might have felt ashamed once, a lifetime ago. Now he just shuddered and lowered his head._

_Then one of the guards grabbed him by the upper arm and tugged. "What are you doing?" the guard asked._

_Howard looked up at him, blinking slowly. "I'm hungry. Please, I'm hungry."_

_"There isn't any food on the floor, Dad."_

_Dad?_

_He looked down at the floor again and—_

He blinked and he was kneeling on the floor and it was clean. Tony held his arm and frowned; everyone else was looking at him like he was crazy. "I thought… I…" 

"It's okay, Dad." Tony helped him to his feet.

"I don't… I don't know what happened." He looked around, confused. "I thought that I was back—But I'm here."

"Why don't you take a nap?" Sarah said, gently. "When you wake up, I'll make you lunch."

Howard nodded; that sounded like a good idea. Tony led him to the room and tucked him into bed. "I was back there, Tony. I was back in prison."

"I know, Dad. I know you were. But you're not there anymore. And you never will be again." Tony stroked his hair. "Now sleep."

"Where's Steve?" He was suddenly exhausted, so he closed his eyes.

"Hunting. I'll send him to you when he comes back."

"Okay," Howard whispered.

*****

Winter came fast and hard: Howard never felt so cold or so hungry, but at least they had something to eat. He could only imagine the numbers of people who were starving, freezing from the winter. He huddled under some blankets on the couch, watching Bucky and Peggy polish their guns. Howard flexed his fingers, itching to touch the metal, take them apart and put them back together in a new configuration that he could almost see. One that would make them better.

"You're doing it wrong," he said to them. "You keep cleaning them like that and they'll jam on you." 

"What do you know about it?" Bucky snarled.

Tony rolled his eyes and made an annoyed sound. "Hello, Stark Industries wasn't exactly making baby bottles and electric cars." Although, maybe it would have been better if they had.

"In order to make weapons, you need to know how to use them, how to take care of them," Howard said. "And you're cleaning them wrong."

Peggy tilted her head and stared at Howard for longer than he found comfortable. Then she scooped up her gun and cleaning kit and sat next to him. "Show me."

Bucky gave her a sullen look. "Traitor."

"Stop being an arse!" Peggy glared at him. "Aren't we doing enough fighting out there? Do we have to bring it back here, too? Whatever Howard may have done, he's in the same boat we are now. I'm tired, Bucky. I'm tired of fighting all the time."

Bucky crossed his arms over his chest and looked away.

God, Bucky was so young, they were all so young, except for him and Sarah. He cleared his throat. "Here, let me show you. Come here, all of you come here. You'll need to know this." 

*****

It was a cold, crisp day and Howard felt content. The day before, Steve managed to catch a deer and they stuffed their bellies full of roasted meat. He stood at the window and watched the kids tumble around in the snow, laughing and throwing snowballs at each other. 

His chest ached just looking them.

"They're more resilient than we are," Sarah said, coming up from behind him. "They'll survive this."

"Yeah, yeah, they will." He pressed a hand to the window, feeling the cold against his palm. "I wanted so much better for him, Sarah. I wanted to give him the world on a platter, but everything's dust. Ashes."

"I know." She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "Steve was going to go to college, become an illustrator. But then he disappeared and when I got him back, he was… I miss talking to him. I miss our conversations."

Howard nodded. "Maria and I were going to celebrate our twentieth anniversary next year. She wanted to throw the biggest party New York had ever seen. She—" His voice broke and his eyes stung.

Sarah sniffled. "If it wasn't you, then who was it?"

Howard gave a soft, bitter laugh. "Does it matter anymore?"

"You tell me?"

He shook his head. "Why would I want this? You tell me, Sarah? Why would I want to destroy the world? Why would I do this to my son? Why would I— My wife is dead. My son is dying by inches. And I… I was *tortured.*" He turned to look at her. "Tortured by our government." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "She died saving me, you know. Maria died getting me out of prison. And I don't even know—Did she think I was innocent? God, I don't even know if Tony thinks I did it."

"If it wasn't you, then who?" 

Howard opened his eyes. "Obadiah Stane, my business partner. My best friend." 

"Why? Why would he do that?" Sarah's lips trembled with emotion.

"I don't know. Maybe they offered him power or safety. Maybe he's just a monster. But he gave the Skitters our secrets, then he framed me. Sarah, he framed me." He looked at her, pleadingly. "Do you believe me?"

"I… I don't know, Howard. I just don’t know."

He turned away from her, his vision blurring, and leaned his head against the window.

*****

The night was bitter cold and Howard cuddled under a pile of blankets with Steve on the couch. Bucky, Peggy, and Tony were sprawled out near the fireplace, jockeying for a better position near the warmth. Sarah was curled up in chair, coughing, her body shaking with the force of it—it had been weeks and she'd been unable to fully recover from the cold.

Steve sighed against his neck and slid a hand under his waistband. He grabbed Steve's hand and placed it in a more appropriate place. "Behave, Steve," he said, sternly, not that Steve would listen. Steve seemed to enjoy touching him inappropriately in front of everyone.

Steve made a soft, rumbling sound and licked at Howard's neck. "Mmm." 

Howard tugged on his hair. "Troublemaker."

Steve lifted his head and grinned. Then in the blink of an eye, the color drained from Steve's face, his eyes rolled back, and he convulsed.

Howard said Steve's name and grabbed him by the waist to keep him from falling. Sarah rushed over, as did the kids, but in that instant, the convulsions stopped and Steve's eyes fluttered open. 

"Spring is a time of rebirth," Steve said in a hoarse voice and a chill ran up Howard's spine.

"Steve?" Sarah touched his face. "Steve, is that you?"

Steve gasped, but didn't answer her. Instead, he turned to Howard. "Spring is a time of rebirth. That's when it will begin. Howard, take up your shield. Do you understand? Take up your shield against the Skitters. We'll need your arsenal. The arc reactor is the key."

His mouth went dry at Steve's words; he swallowed hard. "The key to what?"

"To winning. And to Tony's heart. You're the nexus, Howard." Steve gripped Howard's upper arms and when he spoke, his voice was clear and strong. "Howard... I love you. I love you and I believe you. I believe in you. I… Howard…" He slumped against Howard and shuddered.

Sarah gave an anguished cry and gathered Steve in her arms. "Sweetheart? Steve, baby, open your eyes. Please, open your eyes."

Steve frowned and did what she asked; but Howard could see that the clarity was gone. "Mom? Ouch." At his words, Sarah sobbed and hugged him tightly.

"What was that?" Tony asked. "Dad, what the hell was that?"

Howard could already see the connections spreading out before him like a spider's web. He reached over and pulled Tony into a hug.

"Dad?"

Howard felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. "He just gave us a game plan."

"A game plan? For what?" Sarah asked, her eyes wet with tears. 

He grinned at them; he knew he must look mad. "For winning the war. For defeating the Skitters."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It hurt to breathe.

He sat at the table, staring down at the paper in front of his, pencil clenched in his cold, shaking fingers. He could hear Sarah in the next room, her cough making him wince in sympathy. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and tried to concentrate on what he was doing, but the gnawing ache in his belly kept distracting him. 

There wasn't much food left, and most of what they did find went to the kids. It was better that way. 

Tony came into the room, rosy cheeked and wet from outside, and sat next to him. "What are you doing?" he asked, as he pulled off his gloves and rubbed his hands together. 

"Trying to recreate the schematics for the arc reactor." He set down his pencil and blew on his hands. 

Tony peered at the mostly blank paper. "You haven't got very far."

"I'm tired." God, he was so damn tired. All he wanted to do was curl up under as many blankets as he could find and sleep.

"If you're cold, you should sit by the fire, Dad." Tony grabbed Howard's hands and made an unhappy sound. "Geez, your fingers are even colder than mine!" Tony rubbed them briskly, then stuck Howard's fingers into his mouth and sucked on them. That might have been erotic if Howard weren't so damned run down. 

He removed his fingers from Tony's mouth and wrapped his arms around the boy instead. 

Tony sighed and tucked his face against Howard's neck. "Why don't you crawl into bed while I make you some tea?"

"I don't think we have any more tea." He rubbed Tony's back and closed his eyes.

"Neither of us likes tea anyway. Mom was always—" Tony trembled and pressed a kiss to Howard's neck. "It's gonna be alright, Dad. It is. It'll be alright." 

"I thought that was my line."

Tony shrugged. "You haven't said it in awhile. Slacker." 

Howard laughed softly. "Sorry. I'll try harder from now on."

"You do that. In the meantime, crawl into bed and I'll make you a nice cup of warm water. "

"Mmm, my favorite." 

*****

"They'll be alright," Sarah said, as they both stared out the window and watched the kids climb into the Jeep.

"Of course they will be," he replied. They had to be, otherwise… He clenched his hands and shivered. 

Sarah braced herself against the wall as her body shook with the force of her cough. She looked pale and exhausted and she walked so carefully now, as if her whole body hurt her. She wouldn't last the winter if they didn’t come back with food and medicine. But then, he wasn't in much better shape. 

"Are you hungry, Howard?"

It was a stupid question because of course he was hungry, he was starving and so was she. But they only had enough food for two weeks. They might be able to stretch it to three if they were very careful. "Naw." He shook head. "M-Maybe later. What about you?"

"I think I'm going to take a nap." She paused for a moment, then continued. "Wanna join me?"

He tried to leer, but he knew it fell flat. "That's the best offer I've had all day."

Sarah laughed and they shuffled off to the makeshift bed in front of the fire. They burrowed under the blankets, bodies pressed tight against one other. He squeezed her tight when she coughed, as if he could stop it if he tried hard enough. 

"We'll be alright, too," he said.

"Yeah, of course. We'll be fine."

*****

"Am I supposed to make airplane noises?" Howard asked as he held a spoon to Sarah's closed mouth. "It's plane noises, right? Or is it supposed to be train noises? I can never remember."

Sarah turned her head. "You haven't been eating."

"I'm not hungry." He set the spoon back into the gruel. 

"Liar. You're such a fucking liar." She coughed harshly and he gently rubbed her back. When she finally stopped, minutes later, her voice was rough and she was breathing hard. "If you die, Steve will never forgive me."

"Yeah, well, if you die no one will forgive me." Howard smiled grimly. "They'll probably think that I killed you so that I could have your food." 

"They wouldn't!"

"Maybe. Maybe not. I'd rather not find out."

She made a disgusted sound, but took the bowl from him and began to eat. "You have to eat, too."

"I will," he said, crawling under the blankets. He stared into the crackling fire, his eyes drooping with exhaustion.

"Tony looks like you," Sarah said, suddenly and Howard let out a soft hum. "Steve looks like his dad."

He rubbed his eyes and sat up. "You never mention him. Did he… Did he die during the attacks?"

She shook her head. "No. He died when Steve was a toddler. He was a soldier. He… he couldn't leave what he saw behind him. He couldn't let it go. I didn't understand then. I thought, he was home, he was safe. Why couldn't he just be happy? I didn't understand. " She coughed again, hard enough to bring tears to her eyes. 

"Yeah." He scrubbed his mouth with the back of his hand. "If it wasn't for Tony, I might have eaten a bullet a long time ago. Hell, if his mom were here—but she's not. And I guess one screwed up parent is better than none." 

"Give yourself more credit than that." 

Howard shrugged. "I was a horrible parent before all this. I was an alcoholic who spent all his time at work. I never gave Tony the time of day. I don't even know why he went with his mom to break me out of prison."

"You're his dad and he loves you. He needs you." 

"Like Steve needs you."

Sarah smiled at that. "I guess." Then she sniffled and rubbed her eyes. "I don't want to die, Howard."

"You're not going to die. You can't die. We need you." He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "Besides, I don't have the strength to cart you outside and you'd only stink up the place." 

"Bastard." She laughed then buried her face against his neck. "I believe you," she said.

"Believe me? About what?" He stroked her hair.

"About Stane. I don’t believe you're a traitor."

His eyes stung and his throat tightened. "Yeah? You're not just saying that?"

"I'm not just saying it." Sarah wrapped her arms around him and hugged him hard.

"Okay." Howard let out a shuddery breath. "That's okay then." 

*****

Neither of them said anything when two weeks passed. At the beginning of the third, Howard crawled into bed beside Sarah and stayed there. 

She took his hand and squeezed gently.

It hurt to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun, dun, DUN!!!!
> 
> So, this and other fics will be on hold while I write up my Marvel Big Bang fic. Of course, I tend to procrastinate when I write and I procrastinate by writing stories that are not the stories I should be writing. So I'm saying not to expect anything for awhile knowing there will probably be stories posted soon that are not Big Bang stories.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard reacquaints himself with old friends. It's not as fun as you might think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! New update of Blot Out the Sun! About damn time, am I right? :D

Someone said, "Dad. Dad, wake up. Dad, open your eyes."

Howard tried, he did, but it took too much energy. He opened his mouth to speak, but what came out was a painful croak.

"Dad!" The voice sounded broken, but before he could really think about it, he slid back into darkness. 

*****

Howard woke to the sound of beeping. He frowned and slowly opened his eyes. He frowned and looked around. He was lying in a bed in a sterile room that was definitely not their cabin. There was an IV in his arm and he was attached to a heart monitor—hence the beeping. He didn't understand. Where was he? Maybe he was dreaming. Or dead.

He tried to speak, but his mouth was too dry to make anything other than a soft groan. He took a deep breath and tugged at the electrodes, pulling them off; the heart monitor screeched. A few seconds later a nurse rushed into the room, behind her… No. Oh, God, no. Behind her was a man wearing a SHIELD uniform. 

"Easy, Mr. Stark," she said, placing a hand on his chest. "You're still recovering."

Howard opened his mouth and touched his throat; the nurse seemed to understand. She poured him a cup of water and helped him take a few sips. "Sarah?" He didn't mention Tony or the others. Maybe they were safe. 

"She's still in rough shape, but the doctors expect a full recovery."

Relief flooded his body and he closed his eyes. He almost drifted off until he remembered he was in hostile territory. He quickly opened his eyes. "Fury?" he asked.

"He's busy right now, Mr. Stark. But he wanted me to assure you that he would be by later. In the meantime, there's someone here who wants to see you. " She smiled, looked over her shoulder at the door, and said, "You can come in now." 

"Dad!" Tony raced into the room and flung himself onto the bed. He wrapped his arms around Howard and held on tight. Howard hugged back, trying not to let his fear and consternation show on his face. "You're alright. They said you would be, but when we found you… It was horrible!" Tony buried his face against Howard's neck and let out a tiny sob. 

"Hey, what's this?" Howard pressed a kiss to Tony's hair. "None of that, okay? I'm fine." He tightened his arms and allowed himself to enjoy the feel of Tony's body against his. In the periphery, he saw the nurse retreat from the room. The agent, Howard noted, situated himself just outside the door. "So tell me, how did we manage to land in SHIELD's clutches?" He'd been trying for teasing, but fell short.

Tony sniffled loudly and rubbed his face against the hospital gown Howard was wearing. Then Tony pulled away and settled himself comfortably on the bed; he was wan and too thin, but still beautiful. Still Tony. "So Fury wasn't lying. You have worked with them before."

Worked with, helped found—six of one, half a dozen of the other. Howard's gut tightened and he fought back a flutter of panic. "Yeah, you could say that. So spill."

Tony stared down at his hands, a small frown on his face. "We were ambushed by a squad of Skitters."

"In winter?" Howard blurted out. "But—" 

"They were wearing thermal suits." Tony bit his lip and caught Howard's gaze. "I got a good look at them. Dad, they were one of your designs." 

Howard's chest constricted and, for a moment, he couldn't breathe.

"Dad?" Tony put a hand on Howard's arm and the beeping of heart monitor sped up.

He gasped. "It wasn't me! I didn't do it! I didn't give it to them. I swear, I swear!"

_"Do you know how many people you've killed, you fucking traitor?' The guard brought the baton down on Howard's back; agonizing pain radiated from the blow._

_"Please, don't. Please," he screamed, trying to cover his vulnerable areas._

_"Hold him down," the guard said, and two others came forward and held him flat against the ground. "I want to hear him scream."_

"No! No, no, no, no!" Howard struggled, yelling at the top of his lungs, waiting for the pain to start. He gasped when he felt a needle slide into his arm.

"Dad, it's okay. You're safe. Dad, come on, you're safe!" 

"I didn't." Howard shook his head and fought the sudden threat of unconsciousness. "It… it wasn't… It…" His eyes closed and darkness overtook him.

*****

The next time Howard woke up, Fury was standing over him, glaring. Howard tried to protect his face—the guards liked punching his face—but met resistance. Oh, he was strapped to the hospital bed.

"The Skitters have quite a bit of your tech, Howard. I wonder why that is."

Howard turned his head and stared at the far wall; there were scuff marks. "Beats me," he said softly. He got tired of playing a modern day Cassandra. "Where's Tony?"

"I sent him to dinner. That kid of yours could use a few meals." Fury let his arms fall to his sides. "He told me about Maria. I’m sorry."

His eyes burned and he blinked away the sudden blur. "Yeah, me, too." He took a deep breath. "What about the others? How's Steve?"

"When he's not with his mom, he's here with you. The others are fine. They trust me about as far as they can throw me." Fury didn't seem too worried about it. He probably wasn't.

"So what's the situation here? You gonna stick me in the brig where I'll be shot trying to escape? Or will I accidently take a turn for the worse?"

"Neither." Fury shifted uncomfortably. "I've been told that you're invaluable to the Cause."

"Cause? What cause?" he asked bitterly. 

"You know what cause." 

"I almost starved to death. My friends, my son, almost starved to death." He strained against the cuffs. "Fuck you and fuck your cause!"

Fury shook his head. "You're the nexus, Howard."

Howard's mouth fell open. Those were the exact same words Steve had used all those weeks ago. "W-What? What did you just say?"

"You're the nexus." Fury grinned. "My sources tell me the big fight will happen in the spring and that I'll need an arc reactor to win."

"Where did you hear that? Who are your sources?" He pulled, trying to get his arms free. "If you've hurt Steve, if' you've hurt him—" 

"You're not the only one with a kid who was altered by aliens." Fury patted Howard on the shoulder. "You look tired, Howard. Why don't you get some rest?"

"What's going on, Nick? Nick! Don’t walk away from me, you bastard!" But Fury did, and no matter how frantically Howard struggled, he couldn't get free. 

A few minutes later, his nurse came in and sedated him again.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard and Nick have another conversation. Steve doesn't like it at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is Howard so beautiful when he's broken? It must be some weird Stark thing. *pets him* I'm sort of caught up in the Stevie series, so expect more updates of that, and Blot Out the Sun. And maybe an update of the Perfect World series. I haven't updated that one in *months.*
> 
> On a random note, I'm watching a Harry Potter marathon and Dumbledore is one crazy-ass mofo.

Howard opened his eyes and a sense of relief flooded him. Steve was lying next to him in bed, a warm, heavy weight. He turned his head and brushed his lips against Steve's hair, then frowned. He wasn't in the hospital room anymore.

He looked around and his heart sank. The room was tiny with dingy walls and a cement floor. The only other furniture besides the bed was a dresser. There were two doors on opposite walls: one was metal and the other was made of some cheap particle board, that one probably led to the bathroom. 

Howard took a deep, shaky breath and tried to keep himself calm. Having an anxiety attack would *not* do him any good. Not at all.

Steve stirred and lifted his head. "Howard," he said, happily, a sleepy smile on his face. 

He concentrated on Steve's obviously pleasure. "Hey, pal. Fancy meeting you here. Your mom's doing okay?"

Steve's smiled broadened and he hugged Howard tightly.

"I'll take that as a yes." He ran his fingers through Steve's hair. "Where are Tony and the others?"

"Mmm." Steve kissed a corner of Howard's mouth. "Food." 

"Oh, good. All four of you need to put on weight." His stomach growled at the thought of food. "What do you say we find something to eat?"

Steve turned to the door and glared at it, his mouth pressed into a thin line. "No."

"No? You mean we can't. Are we locked in here, Steve?" He fought the urge to get up and try the door.

"Shhh." Steve held him and gently rubbed his back. "No, Howard. No… No ouch. No."

"No ouch?" For a moment, Howard didn't understand what Steve was trying to convey. Then it hit him that Steve was trying to tell him that he was safe. God, if only that were true. "Yeah, okay." 

"Howard," Steve said softly and kissed him, slow and deep; Howard went with it.

He moaned and slid his hands up Steve's shirt to touch warm, smooth skin. 

Steve made a quiet rumbling noise in his chest and rolled them over so Howard was underneath him. 

"You going to fuck me, sweetheart?" he asked "You going to put that lovely cock inside of me?"

Steve smiled and licked his mouth, then suddenly, his body tensed and the smile vanished from his face. Before Howard could ask what was going on, Steve darted off the bed and was crouched on the floor, glaring at the door, teeth bared. 

Howard's mouth went dry as the handle turned and the door was pushed opened. When Fury walked into the room, he wasn't relieved.

Steve snarled and shifted slightly, like he was ready to pounce.

"Call off your guard dog, Howard," Nick said, calmly, hand touching the taser tucked into his belt. "I'm just here to talk, kid. I don't want to hurt you, but I will if you attack me."

"Steve, it's okay. Sweetheart, come here." Howard sat up, surprised by how much effort that took, and patted the bed. "He's not going to hurt me."

Steve slowly backed away towards the bed, his eyes never leaving Fury. He looked about ready to snap from the tension and a fine sheen of sweat covered his face. 

Fuck. When Steve climbed back into bed, Howard pulled him close and gently stroked his back. "We're safe, remember? No ouch, Steve. No ouch." He kept his voice pleasant when he asked Fury, "What can I do for you?"

"Do you know what the... the…" Fury made a face like he smelled something bad. "The prophecy means?"

"Prophecy?" Howard gave him an incredulous look. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"That's what they're calling it."

"Who? Who calls it that?" he asked. 

"Well, do you?" Fury raised his voice and Steve growled.

"I don't know. What does the prophecy say?" He knew he was playing a dangerous game, but he wasn't going to give Fury anything until he knew the rules and the players. 

"You know what it says." Fury took a step towards him.

"No!" Steve curled his hands into fists.

"Shh, easy. Easy." He rubbed the back of Steve's neck. "Stay where you are, Nick. He' s not a dog, he's a kid. A pretty independent kid."

"Fine." Fury rubbed his nose and took a deep breath. "Spring is a time of rebirth. It is the beginning. Howard Stark is the nexus. His shield in one hand, his arsenal in the other, he will take them up against the Skitters. The arc reactor is the key to victory. It is the key to his future's heart." 

"Sounds very pretty." He trembled and Steve nuzzled his ear. "And straightforward."

"That's the problem, isn't it?" Fury tilted his head. "Do you have an arsenal somewhere, Howard? You got a cache of weapons hidden away? You got an arc reactor?"

"The arc reactor isn't a weapon! It produces energy. That's all. And no, I—" Howard's voice broke. "You know there isn't another one. They destroyed it. They destroyed the only one we had." 

"What about weapons? You got weapons somewhere?"

He looked away. "I'm tired."

"Howard." Fury's voice was low and menacing and Steve growled. "We could have let you and the woman starve. We could have let your kids die in that firefight. But we didn't. We saved you. And we're protecting you now. You owe us."

Howard looked over at him, feeling a bone-weary exhaustion. "And what will you do if don't help you? Torture me? Torture them? Dump us somewhere so that we can starve or freeze? Will you give me back to them? To the… the military, so they can have their fun with me before pulling a bullet in my brain? What are you going to do, Nick? What?"

"I'll tell you what I'm not gonna do, Howard! I'm not gonna watch as the human race becomes extinct! I'm not gonna watch us get picked off, one by one, by damn ET! I'm not gonna give up. I'm gonna fight." Fury ran his hand over his head. "I think you wanna fight too, Howard, you're just scared. At least, the guy I used to know would have fought. Maybe you're not him anymore. Maybe you're just gonna watch the whole world burn." And with that, Fury turned and headed for the door. He paused just before he left. "You're free to leave the room. Let me know when you're ready to play ball."

Howard curled into a ball, face pressed against a pillow. When the door closed behind Fury, he let out a quiet sob. Steve spooned him from behind and stroked his hair. "I don't know if I can trust them, Steve. I just don't know."

Steve pressed a kiss to his neck and squeezed him tight.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard is having a hard time of it and the plot progresses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! LOOK WHAT I DID, EVERYBODY!!!!

Howard refused to leave the room. He didn't do anything but curl up in bed and sleep. A few times a day, Steve or Tony would force him to eat and drink or clean him up in the bathroom. He let them. 

He was too tired to fight. He was too tired to do anything. 

He just slept.

*****

He stirred when the door opened but didn't bother moving. It was probably Steve; Tony came by earlier to feed him breakfast. 

The bed dipped and a small, rough hand touched his back; that was not Tony's hand. Or Steve's. He turned onto his back and blurted out in a hoarse voice, "Sarah?"

"So this is why Tony and Steve have been so frantic lately." She pushed the hair back from his forehead. "You've giving up."

"I'm tired," he protested.

"No, I’m tired." And she was, he could see it in the way she held herself, in the dark circles under her eyes, in the slight tremor of her hands. "You've given up." 

He swallowed hard and lifted his chin. "I’m allowed." 

"You're a selfish coward," she said matter-of-factly and it stung to hear, but he didn't protest, because he was. "You're going to leave your son alone to fend for himself."

"He'll have you and Steve—"

"Don't! Don’t pretend you give a damn about that poor boy. " She glared at him. "The whole world has gone to hell; he's lost mother, his friends, everything in the world but you. And you've given up. You've decided he's not important enough to stick around for."

"He's my son, I love him!" He sung his arm over his eyes. "I just… it hurts too much."

"Maria would be so ashamed."

He uncovered his face and snarled, "You don't know a damn thing about it!"

"I know you promised to take care of him. I know you promised your dying wife that you'd protect your son and now you've given up on that. You've given up on him."

"You don't understand!" His breath hitched in his throat. "It's too much! It… Every time I turn around, I'm back there. I'm back at that place. And all the things they did, all the things they made me do, that I had to do, it's suffocating me!' He rubbed his eyes. "I told Tony once, that Stark men were made of iron, but that's not true. It's not…"

"I know that you're hurting and I know that it's hard, but you're stronger than this, Howard. You are." She touched his arm.

"What if I'm not? Sarah, what if I'm not?"

She gave him a sad smile. "Then you fake it like the rest of us. But you don't leave you kid to fend for himself. You don't leave him in this broken world alone."

"I don't—I—" He shook his head, feeling hollowed out.

"He needs you, Steve needs you, the whole damn world needs you, Howard."

"Don't tell Tony but I… I’m scared. I'm scared and I…" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I… I don't know what to do."

"Well, I think the first thing you need to do is take a shower because you stink." 

He opened his eyes and she was grinning at him. He let out a bark of surprised laughter. "Yeah, I guess I do. " He rubbed his mouth with shaking hands. "What if I can't do this?"

"You will." She put her arms around him and he leaned against her. "You're not alone, Howard. We're family now and family helps each other."

His eyes filled with tears and he choked on a sob. "I still miss her."

"I know." Sarah kissed the top of his head. "You always will. But it gets easier, well, easy enough to breathe anyway. Easy enough to live."

***** 

Howard didn’t look at anyone as he wrote out the prophecy—God, were they really going to call it that?—on the whiteboard. He put down the pen, wiped his hands on his pants, and turned to the group of people sitting around the conference table. "I'm sure that these are familiar to you. A few months back, Steve fell into a sort of trance and these are the words he spoke. Some of it is straightforward. There's going to be a battle in the spring, SHIELD against the Skitters. But there are some parts we're not quite sure of yet. How does the arc reactor play into it? What does it have to do with Tony?"

Tony grinned up at him proudly and he smiled back.

"What's the arsenal?" Fury asked. 

"It was something I was working on for the DOD. Well, playing around with, actually. It never got past the conceptual phase." He picked up the dry erase pen and began to draw on the board.

Sarah laughed. "Is that a robot?" 

Howard looked over his shoulder and gave a sheepish grin. "Yes. It's a fighting unit that would have been deployed as a last ditch effort. I named it Arsenal. Unfortunately, there were problems." 

"You mean, because it's a robot?" Bucky snickered and Howard could feel his face heat.

"In a word, yes." He could admit to his failures. "Arsenal takes a lot of power to run, too much power. It drained every power source I hooked it to within hours. I suppose if I could have found away to miniaturize the arc reactor—" He shrugged. "But that proved to be impossible." 

"So you're saying if you did have a power source, it would have been viable?" Fury narrowed his eyes and quirked his mouth. 

"No. I mean, yes, it would have been viable, but not very effective. The AI I managed to develop wasn't very sophisticated and wasn’t any match for human ingenuity or instinct. It worked, but badly, so I shelved it."

"Huh," Tony said.

"Huh what?" Howard knew that look; Tony had an idea.

Tony blinked as if coming out of a trance, then smiled charmingly. "Nothing."

It wasn't nothing, but Howard didn't pry, not here with everyone in the room. "Anyway, I'm not sure why it's part of the prophecy—Could we call it something else please? I feel ridiculous every time I say it." 

"What do you want to call it, Howard?" Fury crossed his arms over his chest.

He searched around for a word. "An extrapolation." 

"Prophecy," Steve said suddenly. Howard glared at him, but Steve just laughed and snatched the pen from Howard's hand. Before Howard could protest, Steve drew a strange circle in the middle of Arsenal's chest, then pulled Tony towards the board and handed him a red pen. They colored the picture in red and yellow.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard snuggles and has sex with his two favorite boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot next time, I promise. For now, have some fluff.

"So what do we do next?" Peggy asked.

"I need my files, my blueprints." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I need access to my personal workshop."

"Howard, your house was destroyed."

He glared at Fury. "My workshop is two levels below the first floor. My grandfather built it to withstand a nuclear attack on New York. Since then, both my father and I made our own modifications. The house may be rubble, but trust me, the workshop's fine."

"It's closely watched," Fury said.

"By the Skitters or by the provisional government?"

Fury shrugged. "Both."

"Fantastic."

***** 

Howard spent the rest of the day in Fury's office, going over the supplies he'd need to build a new arc reactor and fix the Arsenal prototype. He didn't leave until well after midnight. He went straight to his room, eyes burning with exhaustion, and stumbled across the loveliest sight he'd seen in awhile: Steve and Tony sprawled across his bed, looking sleepy and content.

He locked the door behind him, mouth dry, his heart hammering in his chest: his beautiful boys. "You shouldn't be here," he said. "There are cameras."

Tony rolled his eyes and stretched. "I'm pretty sure Fury knows already. And even if he's just finding out, what's he gonna do, Dad? Report you to CPS?" 

Steve smiled, climbed out of bed and walked over. "Howard." He began to tug Howard's clothes off, looking amused.

"He could put me in a cell." Not that Fury would, not unless it benefited him in some way. 

"Jesus." Tony put a hand over his heart. "I, Anthony Edward Stark, am screwing my dad of my own volition. I have not been forced or coerced in any way. Furthermore, I give him permission to do dirty, filthy things to my sweet young body. So fuck off and mind your own business." He flipped off a corner of the room.

"Tony!"

Steve laughed and crouched down so he could take off Howard's shoes and socks.

"See, Steve agrees with me." He grinned smugly. "Give it up, Dad. We've got you outnumbered."

"Yes," Steve said, and maneuvered Howard into bed, where both boys snuggled against him.

He sighed; he knew he should fight, but honestly he was too exhausted. "This is wrong," 

"Lots of things are wrong." Tony kissed him gently on the mouth. "But not this. Never this. I love you, Dad. I love you and Steve both."

"Yes." Steve squeezed him gently and stroked Tony's bare shoulder.

"I love you, too. I love both of you." He closed his eyes to ease the stinging.

Tony gently stroked his hip. "Did everything go alright with Fury?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "I think so. It's hard to tell with him sometimes. He's setting up an op to get me close enough to the mansion. Hopefully, the cold will keep the Skitters away. As for the humans…"

"Superior firepower." Tony shuddered and buried his face against Howard's neck.

He stroked Tony's back and sighed again. "Everything's going to be okay."

"Promise?" Tony said, his voice soft and so very young.

"Yes," he lied. "I promise." 

***** 

Howard woke to Tony rutting against his hip and moaning softly.

"Oh," he said, breath stuttering out of him, eyes fluttering closed as Steve… well, Howard couldn't see anything but the curve of Steve's back, but he could hear filthy wet sounds. " Steve, oh, oh, please!"

Howard stroked Tony's hair and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Tony?"

"Oh, Dad." Tony shivered and panted against Howard's collarbone. "I… I love it when he licks me open. D-Daddy, Daddy, I—" He moaned and writhed.

Howard gasped and curled his fingers against the nape of Tony's neck. "Shh, it's okay."

Steve lifted his head a moment later, pulling a disappointed groan from Tony, his mouth red and swollen, his eyes half-lidded with desire. He licked up Tony's back before leaning over to kiss Howard on the mouth.

"God, you're so filthy," Tony said appreciatively, nuzzling the side of Steve's face until he got his own kiss. "I want you to fuck me while I suck Dad's cock, okay?"

Steve nodded enthusiastically and Howard closed his eyes, groaning softly. 

Tony knelt between Howard's legs, hands on either side of his hips, and leaned down to lick and suck his way up Howard's cock, making happy sounds

Howard gripped Tony's hair, fighting the urge to thrust up into the boy's warm mouth. He kept his eyes closed; if he watched, it might end too soon.

And then Tony cried out and Howard knew, he knew Steve had just pushed his way into Tony's tight little hole. The bed shook as Steve fucked Tony and Tony mouth moved sloppily over Howard's cock. Howard could feel every moan and cry against his cock and he loved it, fuck he loved it. He loved that Steve was fucking Tony, was making Tony fall apart, and Tony was panting all over the head of Howard's cock, drooling because of the pleasure.

And Steve, fuck, Steve started moaning Tony's name and whimpering brokenly. Howard opened his eyes and, goddamn, Steve face was flushed and sweaty and his mouth was parted, like he was the one getting fucked in the face. Howard tugged on Tony's hair and ground his cock against Tony's face.

Tony slurped the tip of his cock, then pulled off and looked up. "Daddy. D-Daddy." His face was smeared with precome and chin was wet with saliva and he looked… he looked absolutely gorgeous. 

Howard's breath hitched and he arched up, coming all over Tony's face.

Tony gasped in surprise and he shuddered; some of his come spattered on Howard's leg.

He stroked Tony's hair and looked at Steve, who was still going at it. He felt guilty for ignoring the boy. "Steve, baby, look at me." 

Steve did; he was getting close, Howard could tell. 

"Come for me, Steve. Come on."

"Oh! Oh, Howard!" Steve pressed his face against Tony's back and cried out as he came.

"Okay," Tony said, a few minutes later. "That was amazing. We should definitely do that again. What do you say, Steve? Yes?"

Steve lifted his head, looking sleepy and content. "Mmm, yes." 

Howard laughed softly. "You boys are going to drive me crazy."

Tony grinned. "If you're lucky."


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard and the others go on a mission; things don't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a horrible person. I hope you all still love me after you read this. *grins*

Fury set up an area for Howard to work. It was dark and cramped and out of the way, but it felt familiar. The first thing he did before inspecting his tools or taking inventory was to identify every piece of surveillance equipment he could find. He didn't touch them, didn't turn them off, he just wanted to know where they were.

When he found them all, he sat at his desk, clasped his hands in his lap, and shook until Tony came to get him for dinner. 

***** 

A few days later, at lunchtime, Peggy showed up with a sandwich and a bottled water. She placed them on the table, then took the screwdriver from his hand.

"Eat," she said, pointing to the sandwich. "It's peanut butter and strawberry jam."

He grimaced, but unwrapped it, and began to eat. "Where are the boys?"

"Playing hide and seek with the nursery school kids." She peered at the schematics on the walls.

"Hide and seek?" He laughed softly and shook his head.

"Do you know a better way of teaching toddlers how to keep quiet and hide?" Peggy arched her eyebrow at him and suddenly it wasn't very funny at all.

"No, no, I guess not," he said softly.

She nodded and looked down at the table. "I volunteered to go along with you into Manhattan next week."

Howard clenched his hands. He didn't even want to think about how hard it was going to be to get within twelve yards of his old home, much break into his workshop. "You shouldn't have. It's a suicide mission."

"Impossible," she said with a tight smile. "I'd never volunteer for a suicide mission."

He wanted to persuade her that it wasn't worth it, but she stared at him with such determination that all he could do was nod and stare at his sandwich. The silence between them lengthened and he considered asking her to leave when she cleared her throat.

"Steve seems happy."

"Yes, I… I suppose he does." Howard swallowed nervously and looked at her. "Is this the talk? Are you going to tell me if I hurt him, you'll shoot me?"

Peggy's eyes widened in surprise. "No, of course not! Steve can take care of himself. I'm more worried about you! Steve can be… intense."

"Did you know him? Before, I mean." He picked at his sandwich. He hated peanut butter sandwiches, always had.

"No, but I don't think he's changed very much." She smiled. "He knows what he wants and he'll do whatever it takes to get it." 

"Yeah, he's stubborn, all right."

She nodded and worried at her bottom lip. "Tony's happy, too."

His throat tightened and pushed the sandwich aside. "Tony has always been a seize the day sort of person."

"We're happy for him. Me, Bucky and Sarah, we're happy that he's happy. That you're happy." She swallowed hard and patted his hand. It took him a moment to realize that Peggy was trying to put him at ease.

He nodded jerkily, then cleared his throat. "Do you want to see some schematics for a gun I'm working on?"

Peggy's eyes lit up and she grinned. "Yes, please!"

"Hand me that notebook over there." He gestured to a pile of papers behind her. When she turned away to grab the notebook, he took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. 

***** 

"Neither of you are going," Howard said, raising his voice so that he would be heard over the din of agents readying to wage a small scale battle in the middle of Manhattan. Steve ignored him entirely, helping Tony into a bulletproof vest, a serious expression on his face. He circled them, running his shaking hands through his hair. "Fury had no right to say you could come. He had no right to give you permission."

"Can it, Dad!" Tony rolled his eyes and gently pushed Steve's hands away. "We've made up our minds."

He stopped in front of Tony. "Dammit, I am still your father! I—"

Tony pressed his hands over Howard's mouth. "I know you're scared. I am, too. We're all scared. But I am going, Dad. I didn't let Mom spring you from prison by herself. I'm not letting you do this on your own either."

He grabbed Tony's wrists and stepped back. "If you get hurt, I'll never forgive myself."

"I'll be fine." Tony pressed close and kissed him. There was nothing lascivious about it, but it was definitely not the sort of kiss a son would give his father. "We've got your back, Dad. And each others'." 

"Just be careful." He looked over at Steve who was smiling at them. "Stay close to the agents and keep your eyes open."

"We've got it, Dad. Right, Steve?"

Steve nodded. "Yes."

***** 

The moon was full and bright and it was snowing lightly, muting what little sound there was. It was the sort of night that Maria had loved. It was the sort of night that had made Howard smile because he loved her and wanted her to be happy. This was a night for snuggling in front of the fire, sharing kisses and a bottle of wine. 

It was a night for making love.

*****

Howard had lost Tony and Steve and he wasn't quite sure when that had happened. He'd lost his security team, too. He wanted to stop, curl up into a little ball, and wait for someone to find him. But he knew how dangerous that could be. Besides, he told Tony and Steve that if they got separated, they should head straight for the mansion.

The staccato sound of gunfire sent chills up and down his spine, but he kept moving, his boots slipping on the frozen uneven ground. SHIELD hadn't expected the contingent of Skitters, the cold should have kept them away, but they'd been patrolling the area, their sleek, dark exoskeletons helping them to blend into the shadows in spite of the snow.

He stumbled into a small alcove created by the crumbling walls of a bombed out brownstone, his heart hammering in his chest, his breath coming in hard little gasps that sounded too loud, too fucking loud. He rubbed his mouth with the back of his gloved hand, then looked around. He couldn't see anyone, but that didn’t mean they weren't there, hiding in the shadows. Waiting for him to make a move.

Howard took a deep, steadying breath and told himself to get it together. He was so close to the mansion. Tony and Steve were probably there now, waiting for him, worrying. Right. He took one more look around to check that the coast was clear, then made a run for the next hiding spot.

He almost got shot a few blocks from the mansion, not by the military or the Skitters, but by some half-crazed survivor with gaunt cheeks, dead eyes, and a fucking AK-47. Luckily, he was faster and he managed to put a bullet between the poor bastard's eyes.

Then he spend a good hour crouched beside a fallen tree, vomiting and shaking, his eyes wet as images of what they'd done to him in prison flashed through his brain. 

Howard was wrung out and bathed in sweat by the time the memories had faded away to nothing. He wanted to close his eyes and sleep, just sleep, screw everyone else. But then he remembered Tony and he knew he couldn't give up. He slowly got to his feet, rubbed his thumb along the grip of his Smith and Wesson, and steeled his nerves. He could do this. He would do this. 

***** 

He gave a small cry when he saw what was left of the mansion. He knew, intellectually, that it had suffered damage since the invasion, but the cold reality of it felt like a physical blow. Judging by the state of the rubble, there'd been a fire. He wondered who had done it: the Skitters, the military, or the survivors who still haunted the city. 

Howard stumbled forward, tears blurring his vision, his throat tightening in grief. His grandfather had built the mansion for his new wife. They had brought up three children in its cavernous rooms and long hallways, thrown parties in its ballroom, had Thanksgiving dinners in its dining room. Howard had grown up in the mansion, had blown up his first rocket in the rose garden. Tony had learned to walk in the library, had… And now it was gone. It was all gone.

"I'm sorry," he whispered softly, his voice breaking. "I'm so sorry." Then he heard the sound of a rifle being cocked and he froze, his heart fluttering in terror.

"You should be sorry," said a cultured, familiar voice. "Turn around."

"Jarvis?" He slowly held up his hands and did what he was told. "It's me. It's Howard."

"I know who you are." Jarvis was thin and pale and his clothes were threadbare. But his hands were steady. "I've been waiting for you. I knew you'd come back here. And now that you have, I can kill you."

"That seems to be a common desire." He swallowed hard. "I'm glad you're alive."

"Mrs. Stark and Anthony?" Jarvis's voice wavered slightly.

"Tony's alive. But Maria… she… She didn't make it." He fought hard to keep from crying.

"I told her not to go after you. I told her she should let you rot." Jarvis's eyes looked black and pitiless in the moonlight.

Howard shivered and rubbed his nose. "She should have listened to you. She—" A startled gasp interrupted him and he closed his eyes in despair.

"Jarvis? Jarvis, what are you doing?" Tony asked, sounding young and vulnerable.

"Stay back, Anthony. I'm doing what I must."

Howard heard a low growl and opened his eyes. He couldn't see Steve, but that growl told him the boy was around somewhere. 

"Put the gun down, Jarvis." Tony pulled his gun and aimed it at the man. "Don't make me shoot you." 

"Tony, don't," Howard said.

"Shut up, Dad." Tony's hands were steady, but his face was crumpled, like he was trying not to cry. "He's not a traitor, Jarvis. He didn't sell us out to the Skitters."

"I know that, Anthony." Jarvis glanced at Tony. "He might not be a traitor, but pain and death still follow in his wake. After you and your mother disappeared, the military gathered up the staff and took us away for interrogation. They wanted into your father's workshop."

"That wasn't his fault."

"You were away at school when they took him. They demanded that he open up his workshop to them. He refused. He refused and we suffered the consequences. They suffered the consequences." Jarvis's mouth tightened. "Kill me if you must, Anthony."

Tony's eyes narrowed for a moment, then a look of utter serenity settled on his face. He pressed the barrel of the gun to his temple. "If you kill Dad, I'll shoot myself in the head."

Jarvis looked at Tony in shock, the barrel of the gun dropping down. "Anthony!" That was all he managed to say before Steve came barreling forward, knocking Jarvis down. The rifle went off when it hit the ground and Howard could feel the heat of the bullet as it whizzed by his ear.

"Don’t hurt him, Steve," Tony said, sliding his gun into its holster and rushing forward. "We'll tie him up and take him with us. That's okay, isn't it, Dad?" 

Howard wanted to say no, but found that he couldn't. He nodded his head. "Yeah, of course it is."

Steve punched Jarvis in the face, knocking him out, and made an unhappy sound. 

"Come on, tie him up. We're going to have to use the auxiliary entrance to get into the workshop." He gestured for them to hurry.

"Auxiliary entrance?" Tony zip tied Jarvis's hands while Steve got his feet. "I didn't know there was another entrance into the workshop."

"Of course you didn't. It was a secret." He headed towards what used to be the rose garden, but was now a mass of weeds and overgrown bushes.

***** 

By the time they were done clearing the area above the door, they were filthy and their hands and arms were scratched bloody from thorns and branches. The sky was starting to brighten, and Howard told himself that was all right. He'd need the day to transmit all the data and get his equipment ready for transport.

He ran his fingers over the metal until he felt the slight grooves of the panel set into the door. He carefully pried it open, uncovering a keypad and fingerprint reader. He typed in a twenty-five-digit code, then the CAS number for indium phosphide and finally the latitude and longitude points of the hospital where Tony was born. Only then did he press his thumb to the print pad. The door gave a click and a quiet hiss. He gestured for Steve to help him pull open the door, then he stared down into the dark hole; he could barely make out the ladder.

"You first, Tony," he said. "Steve next, then I'll lower Jarvis in. Do you have your flashlight?" 

"Dad—"

"Never mind, take mine." He took a flashlight from one of the pouches on his tool belt and handed it to Tony. "The ladder has thirty rungs. When you hit the ground, you want to follow the left corridor down to the entrance of the workshop. The door is keyed to your biometrics, too."

"But—"

He slapped Tony on the ass. "Move it, Tony! We don't have much time." 

Tony gave him a dirty look, put the flashlight into his mouth, then lowered himself into the entrance. 

Howard counted to ten and then nodded at Steve. "Go on, sweetheart. It's your turn."

"Howard," Steve said in a tone that brought a lump to Howard's throat.

"Yeah, you, too, Steve." 

Steve pressed a kiss to his mouth and followed Tony down.

"Are you going to leave me up here?" Jarvis asked.

His palms were tacky with drying blood; he rubbed them against his pants. "It would be the smart thing, wouldn't it?"

"It would."

He shook his head and licked his lips. "You're not wrong, I do owe you a debt. Does it have to be collected now?"

Jarvis stared at Howard, his face blank in thought. "I suppose it could wait for a more opportune time."

Howard hesitated a moment, then took out a knife. He cut the ties from around Jarvis's wrists and ankles. "Stay with us or go. It's your choice."

"There is no choice." Jarvis took a deep breath. "I'll go where Anthony goes."

He clenched the handle of his knife until his fingers ached. "Well, go on then."

***** 

"Let there be light," he said and turned on the emergency power to the workshop. 

Tony laughed and squinted as bright light flooded the room. "Delusions of grandeur, oh, father of mine?"

"It's a character flaw." He sat at his workbench and felt the tension run out of his body. It felt so right, so familiar, that he wanted to bask in the feeling forever. "It comes with the Stark name." 

"Well, I guess I know what I have to look forward to." Tony put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. "What do you need me to do?"

He leaned into Tony's touch and lifted his mouth for a kiss, which he got. "Boot up the computers and start transmitting files to SHIELD. Jarvis, start boxing up the blueprints in the filing cabinet there. And Steve?" The boy looked over at him. "Don't touch anything."

Steve stuck out his tongue and pressed his finger to one of the circuit boards on the table.

*****

 

It was easy work and they managed to get quite a bit done before Howard called for a break. Jarvis settled in a corner and watched them; it was disquieting, but Howard tried to ignore him. Tony knelt in front of the crate holding the Arsenal prototype and tried to pry it open with his fingers, but it was nailed shut.

"Tony, leave it alone." Howard threw a granola bar at him.

"What? I'm curious. It's a lot smaller than I thought it would be if all of it can fit in this box." Tony unwrapped the granola bar and took a bite. 

"I didn’t make it to size. I wasn't sure if I could get it running properly and gold titanium alloy is expensive, even for me." 

"Hmm." Tony settled back against the crate. "You're gonna let me help you with it, right?"

"Yes, if you want." Howard liked the idea, actually. He and Tony hadn't worked on a project together since… well, the Roadster when Tony was five.

There was a crash from the other side of the room and Tony winced. "You probably want to stop Steve before he blows us up."

He cursed and slowly got to his feet, ignoring the twinges and aches. When he found Steve, the boy was elbow deep in a box full of spare parts, looking delighted. "Can I help you?"

Steve tilted his head back and smiled. "Howard."

"That is not a box of toys." He gestured to the other side of the room. "Come on. Come sit with Tony and me, have a snack. I know you're hungry."

Steve lowered his lashes coyly. "Howard," he said again, his voice going soft and sweet.

"No." He took a step back in alarm. "You can wait until we get back to base."

Steve stuck out his lower lip. "No?"

He let out a little huff of annoyance when his cock gave a twitch of interest. "Would you like to see something exciting, Steve?"

"Mmm, yes."

"Not that." Howard held out his hand. After a moment, Steve took it, and he drew the boy up. "A couple of years ago the military gave me this very interesting metal to play with. Completely vibration absorbent, but it was a bitch to manipulate. I had to— You don't even care do you?"

Steve yawned at him. 

"Okay, okay." He pulled Steve over to the weapons locker when he kept all his expensive toys. He opened it up and gently lifted the shield from its place.

Steve gasped, his eyes lighting up with wonder. He took the shield from Howard and slipped his arms into straps. Then he posed dramatically.

Howard laughed. "Yes, you look very heroic."

"Mine?" Steve hugged it to his chest.

"If you want it," he said and Steve nodded frantically. "Then it's yours." 

Steve crowed, pressed a soft kiss to Howard's mouth, then ran off to show Tony.

***** 

They moved all the equipment and files they were taking with them to the entryway, where there were SHIELD agents waiting to haul it back to base. When he was sure everything was taken care of, he and Tony went back to the workshop and laid out charges.

"Are you sure about this, Dad?" Tony set a couple of charges next to the computers. "We could just lock it back up."

"No," he said. "Eventually someone would find a way in. And I don’t want that. My grandfather built this room, he worked to make the world a better place here, my father did the same. I… I tried to, I really did. Maybe you would have, too. Maybe your kids would have—" He pressed his lips together. It didn't matter now.

Tony walked over and hugged him. "We'll come back someday, Dad. We'll rebuild."

"Yeah. Yeah, maybe we will." He pressed a kiss to Tony's head. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be." Tony stepped back. "Let's go. We got a lot of work to do." 

***** 

Howard could hear the sound of gunfire as they neared the entryway. He exchanged a look with Tony and they both touched their weapons. "I'll go up first."

"Dad, no!"

"Don’t fucking argue with me." He pushed past Tony and made his way up the ladder. He was glad he went first because it was a goddamn mess outside. There was shooting and screaming and the Skitters had brought in their gliders. "Careful coming out, Tony!"

Tony scrambled out, pulling his weapons. "What the fuck happened? Where's Steve? Where's Jarvis?"'

"Don't know," he said, but he hoped they were both on a transport back to base. "But I'm sure they're safe." 

"Wish we were." Tony's scanned the area; then he stopped and waved. "There's Peggy with a transport. Go, I'll cover you."

"Like, hell!" Howard pulled his weapon. "You go, I cover you!"

"We're gonna get killed if we just stand around here and argue!"

"Then you'd better hurry, Tony, because I am not going to leave you behind!" He shoved Tony in the direction of the transport.

Tony growled in frustration. "Fine, but if you get shot, I'm gonna be pissed!"

"I'll be right behind you. Now, go!" He shoved Tony again and began shooting at group of Skitters that were laying heavy fire in his general direction.

Tony waited and when Skitters took cover, he made a run for it. He almost made it. Almost, but then he tripped on the uneven ground.

Howard gasped, heart in his throat; he didn't think it could get worse. But he was wrong. He was so damn wrong, because that was when someone dropped a bomb just a few feet from Tony's position. He screamed Tony's name, even as a small part of him identified the bomb: it was a Stark 465E, built for extensive damage within confined spaces.

Tony's eyes widened and he scrambled back, but he wasn't fast enough. The bomb exploded and Howard screamed again as Tony fell back onto the ground, dirt and foliage and snow littering the air.

No, no, no, no! He ran towards Tony, but before he could reach him, someone tackled him to the ground. "Let me go," he screamed. "Tony!"

"Mr. Stark, we have to get you onto a transport. We have a medic on the way to Tony's coordinates. Sir, don't make me knock you out!"

"Fuck you!" Howard struggled harder than he ever had before, trying to get away from the SHIELD agent, trying to get to Tony. "I have to get to him. He's my son. Let me go. Please, please, let me go!"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Stark."

Howard cried out as the agent slammed the butt of her weapon against his temple. Before he could protest any more, darkness washed over him like a wave.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howard finds out how hard it is to wait for news while your child is in surgery and learns that kids are not the greatest planners.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, look, a new chapter! With plot! Such as it is. I'm trying to update as many WIPs I can before May because that's when I focus on starting and finishing my Marvel Universe Big Bang story. Go, me!

Howard woke to a pounding headache and a grief so overwhelming that it was like an ever-tightening band around his chest that made it hard to breathe. He opened his eyes and stared up at the cracked and water-stained ceiling, completely ignoring Sarah who sat on the bed next to him. 

"He's alive, Howard, Tony's alive," she said, her voice thick with tears.

"Don’t lie to me," he whispered back harshly. He'd seen the bomb go off. He'd seen the blood. "Don’t fucking lie."

Sarah took a deep shuddering breath and touched his arm. "I’m not. He's in surgery, Howard. They're trying to remove all the shrapnel from his chest." 

"It was one of mine, Sarah. It was one of my bombs. It had my fucking name on it!" He sat up and immediately regretted it. He buried his face in his hands and fought the urge to vomit. "It's my fault."

"You can berate yourself later." She gently rubbed his back. "Right now you need to get up. The doctors will need to talk to you when they're done with the surgery. Do you think you can stand?"

He almost nodded until he realized that might be a bad idea. "Yeah, I should be all right if we go slowly." He grabbed her arm. "I don't know what I'll do if he dies, Sarah. I'm not strong enough to live without him." He covered his mouth to stifle a sob.

Sarah put her arms around him and held him close. "We don’t know what's going to happen. So let's leave life-altering decisions until we do, all right?"

"All right," he said, clinging to her desperately.

***** 

Howard sat on the couch in the waiting area, Steve curled against him, looking frightened and upset and young. Sarah was asleep in a chair, head lolling back, mouth slightly open and relaxed; she hadn't slept since before the mission. Peggy and Bucky were sprawled in a corner on the floor, talking quietly to themselves. They were both banged up, but not seriously. Even Edwin was there, standing as far from Howard as possible and glaring.

He was glad that he'd been unconscious for several hours because waiting was torture. His head pounded, he felt queasy, and he wanted to be in the operating room more than anything. He wanted to do something other than wait and worry. He rubbed his face and let out a soft groan. 

Steve kissed his temple and whispered his name.

He dropped his hands to his lap and looked at Steve. "I'm fine. Just tired." Steve frowned and gently stroked the back of Howard's head, which made him hiss. "Gently. That agent hit me pretty hard." Steve wrapped his arms around Howard and hugged him tightly; Howard returned the hug and pressed a kiss to Steve's forehead. He opened his mouth to reassure Steve, when the door to the waiting room opened and two men, one in surgical scrubs, came towards him. Neither looked very happy. Sarah woke with a start and everyone got to their feet and crowded around Howard and Steve to hear the news.

"Mr. Stark," said the man in the scrubs, "I'm Doctor Lloyd. This is Doctor Yinsen."

"Is Tony all right?" He reached out and gripped Steve's hand.

The two doctors exchanged a look and Lloyd responded, "I was unable to remove all the shrapnel, Mr. Stark. There are some pieces that are too close to his heart."

"What does that mean?" As if he didn't already know.

"It means that your son is living on borrowed time," Yinsen said. "Eventually the shrapnel that Doctor Lloyd could not remove will migrate to his heart and kill him." The others reacted to that, even Steve, but Howard could tell that Yinsen wasn't finished "However… I think there's a way to save him."

"So do it!" He tried very hard to tamp down on the hope blossoming in his chest. "Why are you just standing here? Save my son!" 

"We don’t know if it'll work." Lloyd shot Yinsen an angry look.

"It'll work. But you have be sure about this, Mr. Stark. The procedure is extremely invasive. I'd be placing an electro-magnet into your son's chest cavity. He'll lose some lung function." Yinsen took a deep breath. "And he might not survive the surgery."

"But if it does work?" Howard's voice shook and he told himself not to hope. 

Yinsen touched his arm. "Then he has as much of a chance at survival as any of us."

"Then do it. Save my son's life. Please." He grabbed the front of Yinsen's shirt. "*Please*."

"I'll do my best, Mr. Stark." Yinsen gently pried Howard's fingers from his shirt and followed Lloyd out the door. 

*****

It was another five hours before they saw Yinsen again. He walked into the waiting room, looking pale and tired. "He survived and he seems to be doing fairly well."

Howard nodded. "Thank you."

"Your son has a brilliant mind. I would not see it go to waste." Yinsen sighed and rubbed his eyes. "They're moving him to a room now. When he's settled, you'll be able to visit him for a short time. Now if you'll excuse me, I need a drink and a good night's rest. In that order." 

***** 

Tony looked so tiny, so vulnerable: his torso was swathed in bandages, a bundle of wire snaked from his chest to a car battery, and his face was scraped and cut. Wires and tubes and—Howard took Tony's hand and squeezed it gently. "I'm here, Tony. Daddy's right here. Everything's going to be okay now. Everything's going to be just fine. I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you again. I promise, Tony. I promise." 

He wasn't sure, but he thought he felt Tony's fingers squeeze his.

***** 

It was a week after the surgery and Tony still couldn't stay conscious for longer than a few minutes, when Fury showed up. He didn't say anything at first, he just clasped his hands behind his back and stared down at Tony.

Howard waited for him to say something, to say anything, but the minutes ticked by in silence. He knew that if he broke the silence, he'd lose the game, but at this point he didn't care. "What do you want?"

"There's someone you need to meet." Fury reached over and brushed Tony hair back from his forehead. Howard barely managed not to snap at Fury to leave Tony alone.

"I'm busy," he said and smoothed away a wrinkle in the tape holding Tony's IV in place.

"I know. And if it weren't important, I wouldn't bother you." Fury touched Howard's shoulder. "You need to meet him."

He looked up. "Who?"

Fury sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "The kid who gave us our version of the prophecy. He wants to meet you." 

"What?" Howard rose to his feet. Fury had been very secretive about how SHIELD had received the extrapolation. 

"Fifteen minutes, Howard, that's all I'm asking of your time."

He looked at Tony, who was still sleeping peacefully, then at the door. "Just fifteen minutes?"

"Yes. And if there's any change in Tony's status at all, someone will come get you. I promise."

"Okay, fine." Howard ran his fingers though his hair, then pressed a kiss to Tony's forehead. "I won't be gone long." He straightened and looked at Fury. "Let's go." 

***** 

Howard could hear the sound of laughter echoing in the corridor as he and Fury neared the east meeting room. One of the voices sounded familiar and he started. "Is that Steve?"

"Yeah. Your boy knows mine." Fury held up a hand. "Hold your questions until you meet him."

He pressed his lips together in annoyance and nodded. "I better get my answers fast, Nick. This secretive bullshit is getting on my nerves."

Fury didn't respond, he just pushed open the door to the meeting room and gestured for Howard to enter first. There were three strangers in the meeting room: two dark-haired boys and a blonde girl. One of the boys, a kid of about twelve or thirteen, was in a wheelchair. That boy looked up when they entered the room and smiled.

"Mr. Stark," the boy said, holding out his hand for Howard to shake. "It's nice to finally meet you."

Howard shook the boy's hand and gave Steve a questioning look; Steve just smiled at him, happy and carefree. "I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage."

"Yes, of course. Excuse my manners. My name is Charles Xavier. I think you knew my father."

"Yes," Howard said in surprise. "Your father has—had an extraordinary mind. I was sorry to hear about his passing."

Charles nodded, looking grim for a moment. "He spoke highly of you as well. He—" The blonde girl cleared her throat and Charles laughed. "Forgive me again. I don't know where my manners are these days. This is my sister Raven and my friend Erik." 

Howard greeted them impatiently. "I hate to be rude, but what is the point of this meeting? Nick told me that you gave him the… the…"

"Prophecy," Steve supplied.

"Right. I'm sorry, but how are you involved in this exactly?"

Charles exchanged a look with Steve. "I was one of the children taken by Skitters. We all were. That's why I'm in this wheelchair."

_I met Steve on their ship,_ Howard heard, but didn't hear, not with his ears. He took a startled step back. "What?"

"I'm telepathic, though I wasn't before my time in the Skitter's ship," Charles said, bitterly and Erik gripped his shoulder. "We all have powers now, though we've done our best to keep them hidden."

"Why would they do that? Why would they give you powers if all they were going to do was destroy humanity?" Howard's brain tried to make the connections, but he was missing too much information. "Why would they take you in the first place?"

"Experimentation," Raven said with a sneer. "We were their little white mice."

"And to answer your first few questions, they didn't mean to." Charles bit his bottom lip. "You see, they were trying to find ways of making us more pliable, easier to control. Only they didn't know much about human biology or physiology or genetics. So whatever they did changed us, made us more."

"Superior," Erik said and Charles rolled his eyes.

"They accidentally unlocked something in our genetic codes. I think." Charles looked pained. "There's a lot I don't know about genetics. At least, not yet. Anyway, their experiments weren't perfect. There were a lot of… mistakes. Like me." He gestured to his legs. "Like Steve."

Steve hunched his shoulders and looked away. 

"I didn't mean it like that. You were so brave," Charles said softly. He turned to Howard and Fury. "They put us in groups of about fifty; Steve was the eldest of ours. When the Skitters came to take subjects for their experiments, Steve volunteered. They came to take one of us and we were all crying and screaming and Steve told them he'd go first, so that everyone could see that it would be all right. Only it wasn't all right. When he came back…" Charles shook his head and offered his hands to Erik and Raven, who each grabbed one and squeezed. "You were so brave, Steve."

Steve crossed his arms over his chest and gave Charles a weak smile.

"Why is this the first we're hearing of it? You were all questioned about your time aboard the Skitter's ship. You said you didn't remember anything. Why didn't you tell us then? Why let us think that the Skitters had saved you from another alien race? And what does this have to do with the prophecy." 

"Charles made us forget," Raven said. "Charles and the other telepaths, until the time was right. Until we were sure the prophecy was coming true." 

"Dice," Steve muttered, then closed his eyes tightly and said again more clearly, "Dice."

"That's right." Charles smiled. "Like dice. Some of us gained the ability to predict probabilities. The prophecy was the strongest of the probabilities, the strongest chance we had of stopping the Skitters. But we knew that no one would believe a bunch of traumatized kids. Not enough people anyway. So when the Skitters used their machines to try to make us forget, I and the other telepaths made sure that happened, at least for a little while." 

Howard rubbed his temples. "I think my headache is coming back."

"How do you think I feel," Fury said. "I've heard this story half a dozen times and it still sounds batshit crazy." 

"It doesn't matter whether you believe it not, it's happening. Everything is coming together. I just hope we're strong enough."

"Jesus Christ," Howard said. "I need a fucking drink."


End file.
